SAWBBL - Swindon and Wiltshire Blood Bowl League feed Blood bowl league RSS feed en-EN Thu, 22 Aug 2019 18:04:58 -0700 OBBLM 0.95 rc3 Match: Bashing Battleaxes (1) vs. Rumbling train (1) Crazy ogres rolling so many bonehead. The MVP for the ogres went to the dopey ogre who bonehead 13 turns of the 16...... nuffle loves a failure! 2019-08-21 04:13:06 Match: Kraggy Krunchers (1) vs. Saur Loserz (4) A bizarre game where the dice went crazy for both of us. The only lasting injury came at the hands of a grumpy hobgoblin stamping on a saurus causing permanent damage to the lizard's scales (-av) the chaos dwarves took every opportunity to foul in the game 2019-08-16 16:17:26 Match: Fifteen Shades of Grey (1) vs. Rumbling train (1) Fun Game! The Shades induced a wizard, babe and Hack Enslash for the match, all of which worked perfectly to keep the zombies on the pitch and the dwarves off of it :-) The Dwarves received and caged in pouring rain, but it was exploded by the wizard causing one injury. Hack set to fouling trollslayers at every opportunity, leaving one stunned almost every turn. A zombie was ejected on double sixes for fouling, killing a slayer in the process Elvish shenanigans saw the dwarves score and a pitch invasion downed most of the Necro at the end of the half. The Shades set to score against the weakened Dwarves, but were slowed down by a blitz after poor positioning and excellent defending, and couldn't quite manage a 2nd TD before the whistle blew. 2019-08-06 16:15:20 Match: Black Ark Buccaneers (2) vs. Ratty Scumbags (0) And what a match that was! The Black Ark Buccaneers dominated throughout the game taking out The scumbags one by one in a brutal crushing of a game. 15,000 fans turned up for both teams for this semi final, denying fame to either team and packed the stands. The Buccaneers received and immediately started to take out the Scumbags. They stalled out for 8 turns while reducing their opponents numbers to six players by the end of their drive. The Scumbags set up with mr Quick and Claude the rat ogre on the line ready for their one turn TD attempt in turn eight, then suddenly from out of the crowd a fireball hit the pitch taking out Mr Quick and knocking him out cold! An illegal manoeuvre that stopped the Scumbags from equalising! Inspired play! The second half continued in much the same vein, the Buccaneers continued to remove the Scumbags players from the pitch, either to the dead and injured or knock out box, while turning over the ball and heading for the end zone. The Scumbags manage to respond to the smashing they were subjected to and took out two of the buccaneers but with only a few players left they couldn’t stop the Buccaneers. Then to literally pile insult on injury (or, to be true, injuries), the Buccaneers took out Mr Quick badly hurt and then Claude the rat ogre with a strength break! In the penultimate turn, encouraged by the opposition coach, the Buccaneers fouled the last remaining Scumbag player off pitch clearing the rats! Then it was a case of just walking the ball in for a two nil win! Brutal game and a well executed win for the Black Ark Buccaneers, 9 casualties in total 7 to the Dark Elves! 2019-07-03 16:42:42 Match: Dreadfully Departed (1) vs. Black Ark Buccaneers (2) As a good example of how nuts this game was, every single kick-off roll was a Blitz! result. Rex was clearly missing his kennel buddy, Fido (who was MNG for this game) as he had a shocker of a game, at one point making a 6+ dodge to get the ball carrier, before rolling a skull for the hit. The first touchdown was against the run of play, an early Blitz and failed pick-up meant the Buccaneers were able to flood the Departed's back field and put some pressure on the ball, before scoring. As expected, the Buccaneers took a hell of a beating, though the first few casualties were actually Departed players, though they all passed their Regeneration rolls. The equaliser was a typical Swinyard-esque Hollywood play, involving a pick-up, hand-off, short pass into the endzone, meaning the teams went in tied at half-time. The Dark Elves were a player down by this point (meaning the Necromantic were a player UP, having raised Hlorral Nilvlen back from the dead). The second-half saw several more Dark Elves head to the dead and injured box, which meant overtime would be a struggle, if it got to that. A few more trips and falls from Rex meant the Buccaneers were able to get to a 2+ dodge (with Dodge) to score which, to the cameras' disappointment, Blitzer Nilvel made on the first roll. The Buccaneers face a depleted Scumbags side next, but there will be a few new (journeyman) faces in the squad, given the pasting this win cost them... 2019-06-29 07:05:42 Match: Golden Lights (4) vs. Ratty Scumbags (5) In a very high scoring game, the difference came down to being able to capitalise on the blitz results on the kick off. The Scumbags managed to do so on their chance, whilst the lights attempted to stall and lost the ball. The fans got involved as well, invading the pitch twice in the first half. The Scumbags secured the win 5-4 with a mid game turnover from a blitz, taking the scumbags ahead and Gored-on showed his worth, slowing the Golden Lights down and allowing the rats to retain the lead. The golden lights first block of the game killed a Linerat but after that there wasn’t much brutality, the Lights apothecary kept them at 11 players throughout the match with the rats down to 9, with one more cas but only a BH, by the end. Mr Quick was targeted early on, unsurprisingly, but only took a few hits, none going through his armour. He survived to dominate, scoring all five of the Scumbags touchdowns! Two pitch invasions in the first half, both at the start of the rats drives, made Mr Quicks job much easier, especially as they had the fame. A great fun game, if a bit slow due to having to set up for 10 drives, the teams were well balanced and did what they do, scoring fast and running away when possible. 2019-06-27 17:42:04 Match: Mathraticians (2) vs. Mutated Maurauders (3) Extra time for winner for the chaos very eventful day I’ll do a report soon! 2019-06-27 17:26:44 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (1) vs. Rottingham forrest (0) Admin win for the orcs - playoffs time! 2019-06-22 04:16:29 Match: Ratty Scumbags (2) vs. Mutated Maurauders (2) Match report to come 2019-06-20 15:50:51 Match: Molten Fury (0) vs. Evilution (0) Admin draw - a long season, everyone knackered! 2019-06-16 13:23:03 Match: Dreadfully Departed (3) vs. Jed Eye (2) A rowdy large crowd attended this game throwing 3 rocks on the field causing 2 serious injuries and stunning Glart SNR. One of the rocks hit Ratatouille obviously the skaven didn't like a zombie rat in the opponents team this caused an armour bust meaning he will be sacked and left in a corner to rot. It was an end to end game with Skitter scoring at the death for the consolation. 2019-06-15 10:10:34 Team news by Dreadfully Departed Ratatouille the only zombie raised during the season beckons his former kind to join him in undeath. There is a certain type of loneliness being the only member of your kind in a team. He slowly rots but the anticipation almost causes his heart to beat again. 2019-06-12 17:17:59 Team news by Jed Eye With 1 match left in the season, against the league leaders, Dreadfully Departed, Jed Eye stand an outside chance of making the playoffs in their inaugural season. This is, however, doubtful, based on the dominance of their upcoming opponents. The Skaven coach has a few days to consider if he can recruit any star players to hold back the onslaught that they are expecting. 2019-06-12 05:30:49 Team news by Knights of the Holy Python Sir Bedivere was explaining to a yeoman the correct method to throw the holy hand grenade when a lumbering halfling treeman took his head clean off his shoulders...... curse you Barbie!!!!! 2019-06-11 15:01:37 Match: Jed Eye (4) vs. Mathraticians (1) The Skaven grudge match had been brewing all season, and with 1 week to go, the teeth and claws were out. As the teams took to the pitch the hungry crowd struggled to see the players through the blizzard that was coming down, but as the Mathraticians kicked off, the sky cleared, and we had perfect weather for a game of Blood Bowl. The Jed Eye team received the ball, and attempted to form a loose cage, wary of the Rat Ogre hungry for blood. Glart Smashrip has now appeared so often for Jed Eye that some might think he has been signed permanently, but he wasn't on the field to listen to gossip, and the beatings started, with the Maths being dropped to 8 players as the Eyes looked to assert their sudden dominance. As turn 4 arrived, a fireball from the Eyes dugout dropped 2 rats to the floor, allowing O.B.One to make a dash for the line to open the scoreboard. With their extra numbers, the Eyes pushed for a 2nd score, and as the ball broke loose, they managed to scramble across the line to get their 2nd. Not willing to go in at halftime with no score, Pratscal dusted his boots off, and made a drive straight from the kick to score in a single turn with no assistance. As the 2nd half opened, it didn't take long until Trigonratry seized the opportunity to throw a heavy block, smashing the armor of Yo Durr permanently. The Eye's were down a player, and getting worried, having seen how easily their opponents could score. A rush forward with the ball led to a Math's runner stumbling before the line, and dropping the ball. The eyes saw the lone rat on the floor, and swarmed him, with Cane N Jarrus kicking him in the face. With a potentially serious injury looming, the apothecary patched up the runner and sent him to the reserves, while the ref decided that Jarrus should not be allowed to remain on the field, and sent him off. The Eyes formed a loose defence, forcing the Maths down the line, which led to Trigonomratry being pushed into the crowd, who were clearly horrified at seeing his earlier display of aggression, as they tore him limb from limb. This dented the morale of the Maths players as passes were fumbled, players tripped over trying to get into position, and even a last ditch blitz from the rat ogre could not stop the 3rd TD. With 3 turns to go, the Maths were still hungry to salvage something, and although they knocked the ball carrier down, they just couldn't secure the ball. They finally planted Glart on his back, but just didn't have the numbers to get the ball where they needed, and a trip in front of the ball on turn 8 allowed the Eyes to scoop it up and run in a 4th to end proceedings. 2019-06-10 17:56:40 Team news by Hel’s Belles Although the Belles haven't got off to a great start, they have showed a good level of grit and determination. Hopefully this will start to bear fruit in future games. Friahylde has already mastered the art of picking the ball up, and Thorvif is not bad at catching it either. Svadra has the awareness and skill to always help her teammates with those key blocks, and Sokkeph has learnt the value of blocking correctly. As long as the team carries on to show this promise, they should be able to at least compete in the season to come. 2019-06-10 06:30:04 Match: Quantum Chaos Theory (3) vs. West Witchel Whimsicals (0) Friendly match held at the Brunel games night. Lots of failed dodges on the elf side and a ruthless advance by the quantum goats resulted in a 3:0 for the Non- Elves. Surprising until you consider who's coaching the Whimsicals. 2019-06-06 07:59:11 Team news by Knights of the Holy Python On the back of his teams first win King Arthur has recruited a peasant fool and plans to use him as a target to put on the line of scrimmage. If he survives a while maybe the lords will see if he is a good court jester. 2019-06-05 18:55:21 Match: Hel’s Belles (1) vs. Knights of the Holy Python (2) The crowd stayed away from this one only 12k made it. The Bretonians took a 2 touchdown lead with the aid of their dashing bravado. The induced holy hand grenade (wizard) fizzled out only knocking out 1 norseman. Second half the Norse improved, battling through for a touchdown and nearly equalised turn 16 but they failed the handoff. 2019-06-05 16:19:49 Match: Bjarnarhofn Vikings (0) vs. Harlequins' Kisslev (3) Bit of a harsh opening for the newfangled Norse, as Kyulloi took a both down to the head which resulted in a -AV for him and an MNG for the assailant. Didn't get much better from there! 2019-06-03 06:35:02 Team news by Kunnin Stuntz After 20 games the Kunnin Stuntz record scorer, Ryan, has sadly had his contract terminated, by entirely non-mutual consent. Consecutive -ST injuries have seen him become too much of a liability, and Coach Reedar is having to look towards the playoffs without his teams biggest threat.... Perennial bench warmer & rookie Jesper steps up to take his place... 2019-05-28 05:07:15 Team news by Flubber When asked in an interview how they felt about the recent result against the elves, Brick replied "Iz good result. We not stoopid we knowed if we win we face Kaos morders. They mean. Dis ways we getz rest and elves get mushed." 2019-05-26 19:29:29 Match: Flubber (2) vs. Golden Lights (2) Not enough blood in first half but 2 goblin intercepts. 1st to get the draw. 2nd to deny the elves the win. 2019-05-26 17:19:13 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (3) vs. Aaron’s Packers (1) A bloodless game of stuns, knock-outs, boneheads and dodges! 2019-05-24 16:36:58 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (0) vs. Pointyearelfian Eagles (1) Admin win - too trick to get the boys scheduled! 2019-05-23 15:30:45 Match: Black Ark Buccaneers (0) vs. Molten Fury (1) Didnt kill as many as i would have liked, Jip played well but mass guard and MB was difficult to overcome, especially if you hire a drunk wizard that zaps your own blitzer!! :) 2019-05-21 16:11:55 Match: Ratty Scumbags (3) vs. Evilution (2) Crazy game, so few rats but able to score so much! This chaos team are looking forward to the end of the season, and looking enviously at their kindred at the top of the table! 2019-05-19 16:08:45 Match: Dreadfully Departed (4) vs. Golden Lights (1) An aggressive elf team struggled to break through the 2 flesh golems on the line. The werewolves caused issues throughout the game. Both teams fouling for fun and after the Necromantic went up 2:0 there was a pitch invasion the fans causing 5 undead and 2 elves to be stunned. 2019-05-18 11:30:18 Match: Pointyearelfian Eagles (1) vs. Mutated Maurauders (2) Match report to come... dice were hot.. casualties were high... 2019-05-16 15:18:42 Match: Molten Fury (0) vs. Pointyearelfian Eagles (1) Admin win. 2019-05-13 13:14:24 Match: Golden Lights (5) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) Orcs vs Eves, brute force vs finesse. This time, the leaping, dodging, sidestepping choreography of the Pro Elves came up more than trumps. The Golden Lights curried their favour with Nuffle in the very first round. Receiving the ball, they blitzed Ironguts straight into the infirmary. The stunned orcs remained dumbfounded and didn't even have time to realize that the first touchdown against them had already happened. Thanks to their early blood sacrifice, Nuffle granted the pro elves two Blitzes, one more casualty, a couple of well-placed kick offs, and only once did one of the many orc spectators throw a rock at the pointy-eared prancers throughout the match. The Tuskmusters started their own run understandably cautious, trying to reduce elf numbers at the scrimmage while their most senior ball carrier lingered downfield. Just when he thought it was safe to overtake the field, Reekh lost the ball to a surgical elven blitz action. Coaching errors in the second half - not securing the ball in time, putting a lineorc into the thrower's position, not reminding Chuck Lobba of his Kick-off Return skill - hardly made any difference as the Lights domineered the pace of the game. With three turns to go, the orcs mustered enough resolve for one last go at the elves's side of the pitch, but were stopped five squares from the touchdown zone. Only a few unlucky Ones on the eves' dice prevented a humiliating sixth touchdown for the Golden Lights, and the elves sent the orcs resoundingly to the bottom of their division with a 5-0 victory. 2019-05-10 16:19:03 Match: Rottingham forrest (0) vs. Dreadfully Departed (2) Admin win. 2019-05-07 15:26:41 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (2) vs. Flubber (0) After a first half nightmare which saw the Goblins roll more double ones than any team could cope with they were left with a nightmare up hill climb in the second half and a lucky one dice vs the blodging doom diver by the lineorc put the game to bed. Small consolation can be gained from the death of the Orcs star catcher and the troll learning to block. 2019-04-30 17:20:57 Match: Aaron’s Packers (0) vs. Mutated Maurauders (3) The chaos rolled into the humans home stadium with a reputation on injuring teams so the human coached opted for some delicious Halfling cooks an extra doctor and some babes to help people get people on the pitch. Humans decided to receive first half and with their first two blocks of the game knocked out and injured 2 beastmen. The chaos infuriated that a team would out punched them all got in close ready to start hitting the humans. They broke down the left and formed a loose cage but the dodging beastman was able to break through and rip the ball off the catcher ... the ball going loose and landing in the beastmans hands. The chaos caged up around the beastman and started making inroads into the human team knocking out 3 and injuring 2 as they walked down the pitch to be 1-0 up with one turn left. The strength 5 warrior fancied himself as a big guy hunter re rolling a double push for a double skull and being stretchered off injured. Second half began as the first with the first two chaos blocks this time causing injuries to the humans including the ogre. Numbers starting to deplete the chaos caged up and got down the field for a turn 4 touchdown and 3-0. Humans got all their knockouts back meaning they had a player advantage for the last 4 turns. could they get the touchdown they deserved? They broke right through the chaos lines and had a catcher free with the ball. A last ditch dodge and tackle on the ball carrier... re rolled.. POW not only knocking the player down but killing him in the process. This allowed a lone beastman to pick the ball up and launch it to the midfield where it was caught. Two more casualties over the final turns really reduced the numbers but the human blitzer was able to dodge free and hit the beastman with the ball.... push rolled... push the beastman survived the hit. Allowing a chaos warrior to blitz the player away and allow the beastman an easy run into the end zone for 3-0. A lot closer than it looks but reduction of players and dice not turning up at all in the second half means a 3-0 win for the chaos ... who look forward to punching some elves for the coming games. 2019-04-29 16:23:09 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (1) vs. Jed Eye (1) This game had no right to be so entertaining. 36000 fans made their way to the stands, and they must have struggled to see the players as a blizzard swept in before the opening kick. The Skaven were expecting a tough fight from the Orcs, and had brought a 15-man squad, bolstered by Glart Sr and Glart Jr, and were prepared to tough it out with the extra manpower. The Orcs elected to receive the kick, and after securing the ball, proceeded to hit the Rat Ogre, resulting in him being stretchered off the pitch in the first turn. This presented a tricky choice. Would the Skaven apothecary be used so early in the game, or should the big guy be left to miss the next match? With so many turns still to play, he was taken home for recovery. It wasn't long until the grim reaper showed up, as the ST2 linerat found himself being flattened by the Stuntz' number 7, who, by the end of the match, would have inflicted 2 casualties. The Skaven were undeterred though, and their Gutter Runners took it upon themselves to head off the ball carrier and knock the ball free, before the brave number 9 took a deep breath and ran through tackle zones all over the pitch (a total of 5, including double coverage) to grab the loose ball and make a break toward the sideline. The Orcs tried to catch him, but his speed was just too great, and the few that did catch him just couldn't put him down, resulting in a very unlikely score against the run of play. Bringing out all their subs for the turn 8 kick, the fans took to the pitch, and half the Skaven players found themselves staring at the dirt, unable to participate in the remainder of the half. The Orcs proceeded to batter the upright players, leaving 2 conscious Skaven to attmept a single blitz, which was ineffective. The claws on the Skaven started getting sharpened in the second half, as the weather cleared up, and actually managed to take an early advantage in numbers, until the wizard's lightning shot failed to have any impact, other than relax the Orc's continual loose cage formation, as they were no longer in any threat. The Gutter Runners took a couple of rounds to pass the ball between them, before a hole was exposed down the centre of the pitch. A break was made, but a slight oversight left the ball carrier unprotected from the flanks. As the weather had improved, the Orcs had begun taking risks, and one decided to go for it, knocking the ball free. A few bounces later, and the Orcs were able to collect the ball and form a tight cage, that the now-depleted Skaven just weren't risking an attack on, as they had 5 casualties by this point. The last turn from the Skaven would result in a last-ditch attmept to steal the ball in front of the endzone, which resulted in a both attacker and defender going down, with the Skaven knocking himself out. The Orcs then needed to decide whether to risk the pick up from a Black Orc to walk across the line, or go for the score with their thrower who was on the floor. This was the chosen play, and resulted in the last action of the game tying up the score 1-1. 2019-04-25 18:13:10 Match: skaveeeeeens (2) vs. Evilution (2) Dummy game, actually against Wasabi Wanderers. Spectacular game though! The Brets started strongly, scoring in 5 turns. Riot gave the opposition plenty of time to score back, but a surprising lack of Block in the right places made life difficult, and the good guys were able to turnover and go in 2-0 up. Should have been good, but then the peasants started dying, literally. A score in 3 turns, followed by a blitz, equalised, and a tight finish could have gone either way, but rerolls were too scarce. The wait for Linus's first win over his dad goes on! 2019-04-22 15:25:43 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (2) vs. skaveeeeeens (2) Dummy game, actually against Evilution. Spectacular game though! The Brets started strongly, scoring in 5 turns. Riot gave the opposition plenty of time to score back, but a surprising lack of Block in the right places made life difficult, and the good guys were able to turnover and go in 2-0 up. Should have been good, but then the peasants started dying, literally. A score in 3 turns, followed by a blitz, equalised, and a tight finish could have gone either way, but rerolls were too scarce. The wait for Linus's first win over his dad goes on! 2019-04-22 15:23:19 Match: Jed Eye (2) vs. Rottingham forrest (1) In the sweltering heat, the Nurgle team arrived at the Skaven stadium, but the home fans were cheering the loudest. The ref was attacked, which gave both teams a free bribe. This led to Rottingham Forest attempting an early foul, but failing to break the armour of the poor rat. It proved to be the run of the game. The Nurgle picked up a touchdown late in the first half, but the sweltering heat led to a depleted defensive live as the Skaven received the ball and ran it back to level the score. In the 2nd half the Nurgle kick dropped in the favour of the Skaven, who managed to make a break down the flanks. The Beast lumbered down to knock the ball free and flatten the Gutter Runner, as Glart Smashrip was earning his appearance fee, and assisted in pushing the ball carrier off the pitch. A scuffle on the centre line gave the edge to the Rats as they knocked multiple Rotters and Nurgle Warriors to the floor, and a brave Gutter Runner threw a block on Beast, and made a run for the far corner. The rats then burned the clock for a round until they fumbled the ball near the line. They didn't want to push their luck too far, as they chose to pick up the ball and walk over the line for the lead. With 2 rounds to go, the Rats kicked the ball back, and attempted a sneaky blitz as the ball bounced just behind the line of scrimmage. It proved unwise, as the Rat Ogre moved first, pushing a Rotter, before stumbling and falling prone. With the heavy hitters for the Nurgle team all lined up on the other half of the pitch, they were unable to secure the ball. The Skaven made an attempt to send a runner to the endzone, with hopes of a 8th round pass, but a failed picked ended events. 2019-04-15 16:47:49 Match: Flubber (1) vs. The CeeBeebies Crushers (0) Thankfully for Flubber not even Eric II's Blodge can negate a well placed chainsaw. 2019-04-14 16:47:17 Match: Grey Shades (1) vs. Akkadian Knights (1) The chaos dwarves turned over the dwarves on the dwarf drive as some sneaky hibgoblin had tied together the dwarf teams laces meaning all gfi ended in tragedy. Although a dwarf blitzer in his frustration badly hurt a bull centaur early on.the second half the dwarves pulled off the insane dodging in a troll slayer picking up the ball, dodging out and passing to a free runner who equalised then the weather changed and the rain limited any real scoring potential. 2019-04-11 15:57:58 Match: Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) vs. The CeeBeebies Crushers (2) Twenty nine thousand punters cheered and jeered as a rather mild mannered game unfolded on the pitch below them. And for a while, it looked promising for the Tuskmusters, who were still visibly hungover from their win against JedEye's Skaven. Their resolve managed to hold back the yellow mechanised Ogres throughout the first half, snatching the ball in turn 4 though losing it again for a short while. At last the orcs had two turns to try and lob and run the ball from their deep field right into the Crushers' end zone - alas, they failed on the second roll before they could even pass or handoff the ball across the field. Kudos to Blitzers Reekh and Sneer for keeping the ball safe! And while the Orcs set up to receive in the second half, they suffered a sudden Blitz straightaway - oddly predicted by their coach Bron. Not to worry, the dapper greenskins surely thought, and promptly their blitzer Kruul, trying to stop a Snot from advancing too far, failed a Go For It roll twice. This proved to be a pivotal moment, from which the orcs would not recover. Gigglebiz the Snotling managed to stall for a turn before the defense came into striking distance of him, and the orcs had half a half left to effect a Draw. By that time, however, Nuffle abandoned them entirely. Sending Numberhack and La-La into Snotling Infirmary was the only consolation prize for the Tuskmusters tonight. 2019-04-10 06:04:17 Match: Rottingham forrest (0) vs. Flubber (2) Bron and Raging were undoubtedly the most annoying goblins on the pitch but MVP had to go to Outhouse for Killing the beast. 2019-04-09 16:26:11 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (2) vs. Ratty Scumbags (3) A pretty bloody game, which could have gone either way! The rats needed a long bomb for one of their touchdowns, and when Mr Quick stayed in the KO box for most of the game it made life a little tricky. They "squeaked" it though! 2019-04-04 16:21:28 Match: Underhanded Underlings (4) vs. Blades of the Hunter (5) The Blades of the Hunter emerged from the dugout in grim silence, their eyes focused on the pitch ahead of them and the team that was lining up against them. The Underhanded Underlings looked over at the Elves with wicked smiles on their lips, thinking that the armour of the Wood Elves would be no protection and that easy kills were to be had. A modest crowd of 15,000 fans had made the trip to the stadium to watch these two teams play their first game. The weather remained nice as the Elves prepared to kick off, however the crowd had become very raucous and decided to invade the pitch! 2 Goblins and 1 Wood Elf Catcher were mauled by the crowd before security cleared the pitch. The ball was picked up by a Skaven thrower and despite the animosity normally felt towards goblins, he gave the ball to Broody Bron, a very eager little goblin. He looked down at the ball, then up at Malicious Mike before pointing down the pitch. The Troll bent down, picked up Bron and promptly launched him sailing down the pitch. A good landing followed by a short sprint meant the Underlings had a 1 - 0 lead in next to no time! Now it was the turn of the Elves to show what they could do on offence, or at least it should have been. Enialis picked up the ball wide on the left and thought he was safe in the pocket. Mike had other ideas, prodded into blitzing the Elf Thrower. Enialis saw the Troll coming at him at full pelt and knew he couldn't go anywehere so he just launched the ball at the Troll, hitting him square in the face and snapping his head round. Mike then promptly landed on Enialis, both of them ending up on the pitch bleeding. The Regenerative abilities of Mike failed him this time and he ended up missing the game. The rest of the half was to and fro between the teams, with the Underlings going into half time in a winning position. The second half was a much different story, the vindictive nature of the Elves really coming out as they started to injure Underling players, Ulieth in particular showing how well he could take out players with 2 injuries in the match. They matched this with scoring, managing to overhaul the Underlings now that they were losing players and pulling off a 5 - 4 win. A very bloody, exciting game that both coaches were happy to play in. Both teams have learnt valuable lessons and stand in good stead for their hopeful inclusion in a league in the future. 2019-04-01 17:12:41 Match: Molten Fury (0) vs. Mutated Maurauders (2) As expected a bit of a punch fest 11 casualties in the game including morg going down for the second time. First half chaos received and knocked a few dwarves out before morg starting punching and a chainsaw tried to injure... unfortunately for him as he went to cut someone in half on the floor the ref kicked him out the game. The chaos due to some early injuries moved up field scoring turn 8. Not to be out done before the half pissed off that their star centaur was injured the dwarves removed 2 players to male it even numbers wise at half time. Suddenly the dwarves felt like pushing and the chaos got angry once more starting to remove players at will to get the ball. Mino decided he wanted to be the only big guy on the field and blitzed morg and with his sharp claws injured the famous star and celebrated mid field. One last lunch from the dwarves ended the game for the chaos thrower and he will take at least one more game to recover. But with numbers dwindling this allowed drezir the chaos star to hand off to a beastman for the 2-0. Despite some extreme dice at time was a great game against a great opponent. Thanks for the game glow I enjoyed it. 2019-04-01 17:06:10 Match: Harlequins' Kisslev (2) vs. Spite Club (2) Nice friendly friendly! The Kislev took to the pitch for their first ever game, and tore into the elves, reducing them to seven on the pitch. Combined with a pitch invasion on the second kick off, this should have been easy, but the leapers were obviously not game ready, lacking the killer instinct. 2019-03-30 11:11:27 Match: The Hurty Dozen (2) vs. xrays and xylophones (1) Good friendly game! 2019-03-28 16:26:19 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (1) vs. Molten Fury (1) Various details still missing, but pretty sure the score was right, brutal match, i felt bullied.... 2019-03-28 12:40:10 Match: Mathraticians (1) vs. Dreadfully Departed (3) The skaven came to the game expecting to use sneaky tactics supported by a wandering apothecary. Both apothecaries were sorely needed as the necromantic coach had been teaching his players to grab the tail. 4 skaven were in the injury bin by half time and the numbers showed 2nd half 2019-03-24 10:41:20 Match: Jed Eye (1) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (2) This was always going to be a difficult game for the Jed Eye, new rats on the block, even against an orc team as habitually incompetent as the Tuskmusters. so much worse when Nuffle is also not on your side. The intrepid Skaven fielded not one, but two Starplayers to swell their injured ranks - Kreek Rustgouger and Glart Smashrip weighed in on the first kickoff, which saw the rats receive. Alas, Kreek got knocked out by Wun Wun the troll in the first few minutes, and the team's Rat Ogre followed not long after, succumbing to a mass foul. Bogenhafen Bron, the orcs' coach, was clearly not all quite there when he realised that in fact it had been his only Thrower, Chuck Lobba, who subsequently got sent off for the foul. Without their heavy hitters to keep the orcs at bay, three gutter runners rushed for the Tuskmusters' touchdown line to hastily score in Turn 5. Turn 6 kickoff, and the Orcs sent their most pointless Black Orc ahead towards the left field, and while he got crowded by twitchy whiskers, orc Blitzer Kruul Nutbusta rushed down the right field to score a touchdown in Turn 8. The second half started with another casualty at the hands of the orcs, and with their numbers dwindling, the Jed Eye tried hard to delay the inevitable. However, ball carrying Grub Takklgrabba soon found himself hovering near the Skaven touchdown zone, well protected, while the fracas mid-field continued. It must be noted that Glart Smashrip - whether Sr or Jr - really earned his fees and Grabbed and swung his opponents wherever he wanted, not unlike a barnyard dance. The managers of the rented stadium hurried the last few minutes of the game, and with one or two more rounds to play, Grub walked in the final 2:1 touchdown before the gates shut prematurely on this game. A rare win for the orcs and hopefully not the last game for the severely smashed Jed Eye. 2019-03-23 09:00:03 Match: Spite Club (1) vs. The Hurty Dozen (2) Fun friendly with lots of shenanigans: Pouring rain for the whole match. Would have probably been 2-2 without it as the elves failed a catch to score on 2 reroll 2 :-) The Ogre wanted to show off his new break tackle skill and tripped on his bootlaces the first attempt, failing loner reroll The apothecary managed to save the Skaven's life! 2019-03-22 04:04:37 Match: Ratty Scumbags (6) vs. Pointyearelfian Eagles (4) When the fixtures were announced, this one looked like it was going to be a high scoring affair, and it didn't fail to disappoint. It was a tale of Mr Quick and a costly turnover for the Elves, who put up a good fight against the legendary Mr Quick. Mr Quick stole the show, as expected, with 6 one turn touchdowns. The Eagles for their part, managed to put up 4 of their own touchdowns, with Durlen claiming a hat trick. What really got the Eagles fans going was just how vicious their team seemed to be. Although they lost, the team managed to cause 4 injuries. Aramiel seemed to be wanting to put the blood back in to blood bowl as he squared up against Linerat Eddy, who is now Deady Eddy. Asurin continued hurting players, the mighty blows he was dishing out badly hurting 2 Skaven, one of which was Claude the Rat Ogre. Huren also got on in on the act, ensuring that Muncha would be missing the next game. Tadger decided to try and escape from the Elves, but the pitch had other ideas and he slipped and fell, picking up a little niggle for his fall. Before Claude was taken off by Asurin, he made sure that Cercil would have a niggling injury that would last for the rest of his career. A thoroughly enjoyable game for both sets of fans and coaches, and a valuable learning experience for the Eagles players who are now looking forward to their next game against Khaine's Vengeance. 2019-03-21 18:32:24 Match: Evilution (2) vs. Aaron’s Packers (0) The game started with errors - snake eyes on a human quick pass followed by a minotaur double skulls. A tight cage on the sideline led to a surfed blitzer, and the crowd flung the ball a long way into the human half. A chase of the ball, and the humans were in trouble, but a 5+ dodge, 5+ pick up then a long bomb got the ball away. The human catcher picked it up and ran for it, but fell over on the GFI. A beastman retrieved the ball, but got blitzed only for the blitzer to reroll a push into a skull. This allowed a handoff and short pass for an end to end chaos touchdown, and 1-0 at the half. A pitch invasion at the start of the second half led to a straightforward chaos drive for the second half, stalled only by the minor inconvenience of a fireball. 2019-03-18 16:09:29 Match: Mathraticians (2) vs. Flubber (1) After an early fireball right into the heart of a skaven cage (missing the ball carrier but hitting most of the rest) the rats decided to run it straight into the end zone. This gave the Gobbos long enough to even the score in the first half. In the second half, after a long drive and a lot of rats off the pitch the goblins managed to get sacked 3 squares from the TD line after a brave gutter runner dodged into their sideline cage. The ball was then thrown in by the crowd (and a fan of the rats it would seem) up the pitch towards the goblin half of the pitch. After a brave thrower picked the ball up from next to a ball spinning fanatic, the rats managed to walk the ball up and score on the last turn of the game. Close game with some unfortunate perms for the rats. 2019-03-14 16:24:11 Match: Black Ark Buccaneers (4) vs. Aaron’s Packers (0) Aaron's Packers definitely missed their Leader in this game, being left with two re-rolls against pesky tricksy elves was always going to be a struggle. The Buccaneers won the coin toss and, with only 11 men, elected to kick. With only 20k inducements the option was to take a cheerleader or an assistant coach. The coach opted for a glamorous cheerleader. Of course, the Brilliant Coaching result came up in this game, twice. The fans were clearly in high spirits for this one, the game had seen two Blitz! results and a Riot by the final whistle. Rookie Witch Elf Salloth Venomspite had a fantastic match, with a casualty (an Ogre, no less!), touchdown and completion, as well as her surfing two Packers players. The Buccaneers were clearly looking to put two disappointing draws behind them and were aggressive from the start. Kloppen, drowning under a sea of skulls and 1s in the first-half, had lost both re-rolls by turn 2 (inc. a double skull Ogre block which, thankfully, passed the Loner roll). Three Packers players were taken off in the first half and the Buccaneers managed to turn the drive over twice to go 2-0 up in the first half, though it took a re-rolled GFI to get the ball across the line the second time! The second-half saw the Packers set up with only eight players, stemming the AG4 tide was always going to be tough, even with the Blitz! result that they had. The injured Aaron Rodgers was obviously shouting from the dugout as the team managed to earn a re-roll this half. Sadly, the re-roll didn't help, as the Buccaneers went on to score another two. Some pressure on the ball carrier for the third nearly ended its chances but a(nother) fluffed GFI saw a Catcher fail to cut off the escape route. Journeyelf Delmdris S'thhis put in a balance performance, but will not be kept on by the team due to the return of several squad members from injury for their next game. The Packers could have squeezed a consolation touchdown in near the end of the second half, but a Riot! put the clock forward and it wasn't to be. Brett Le Favre was rewarded for stepping up to the QB role in Rogers' absence by earning the Packers' MVP vote for this match, but I'm sure the Packers will welcome Rogers back with open arms for their next match against Sann0638's bruising Chaos Chosen team. As for the Buccaneers? They're playing table-topping Dark Elves, Khaine's Vengeance, coached by Kismet. 2019-03-11 17:53:09 Match: Bite Club (0) vs. The Hurty Dozen (1) A nervy game for the 2 rookie teams, the Hurty Dozen managed to sack the ball carrier early in the first drive thanks to a failed block from a vampire. However, this early success clearly went to the big guys heads with Posey, Pinkley and Jefferson almost permanently confused, stupid or enraged from that point on. Both teams ended up strewn across the pitch with no real sense of formation to be found and only some lucky blitzes kept the biters at bay. With neither side capable of scoring or doing any kind of damage to each other the second half kick off offered the merest glimmer of hope that something of any quality might happen. The Dozen received the high kick and swung left into more failure, reformed in the centre and then burst away on the right. A cage of ineptitude threatened to fold at any minute, but gradually made its way to a TD in turn 7, leaving 2 turns for a Bite equaliser. The ensuing kick off riot brought an end to those dreams so instead Posey took a few slaps to the face on the scrimmage line and the whistle blew. 2019-03-08 02:06:37 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (3) vs. Ratty Scumbags (3) Mr Quick is a Legend! 2019-03-07 17:08:29 Match: Jed Eye (2) vs. The CeeBeebies Crushers (0) The Jed Eye team was hungry for their first win, and took an early score while they had a decent compliment of players on the pitch. It didn't last long though, as the Mercenary on hire was quickly targeted and taken out as a casualty, as Octonaut from the Crushers got used to the feeling of rat skulls being crushed by his fist. As the Crushers sought to thin out the numbers, a fireball came from a robed figure in the Jed Eye dugout. This proved quite accurate, as it dropped half of the Ogres to the floor, knocked out a snotling, and somehow avoided a prone rat, who had previously been dazed from one of the big guys. Somehow this led to an adventurous the Skaven team, retreating with the ball to their end zone, as the spent the next 3 turns passing the ball back and forth, before spilling it on to the floor. The Crushers made a drive for the ball, but some unlucky attempts to push their luck in pursuit of the ball led to a brave attempt by the rats to retrieve the ball in danger, and send a runner down the line into the open field for the 2nd score. Seeing their time running out, the Crushers proceeded to remove rat after after from the pitch, leaving the Skaven with 2 players being pushed in to the crowd, and a lonely 4 figures trying to hold back the drive. This somehow proved to be enough though, as a couple of Ogres forgot what they were doing on the pitch, and a collision with a target in round 8 led to both players going down prior to the ball being carried across the line, leaving the ogres and snotlings scoreless. 2019-03-07 06:52:08 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (1) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) Last season the 'Stuntz and the 'Tusks played out a drab 0-0 in a full Blizzard. This was not last season. The Tusks elected to kick in the first half, content to let the Stuntz try and grind their way through a wall of Block & a chainsaw. Stuntz finally got within striking distance of the endzone only to have the ball sacked and scoped up by a Tusks blitzer. Stuntz spied an opportunity to retrieve the ball in t7, and marked up the ball carrier with three players ready to pummel him the following turn and waltz over the line with the ball. What followed can only be described as Orcy-elven-BS, and the play of the game to boot. Tusk blitzer Hakk dodged away from his markers, around the group, made a pair of GFIs, threw a short pass over the vain interception attempts, successfully to a waiting blitzer on the halfway line; all without a re-roll! 0-0 at halftime, with a few Cas inflicted by either side, although the Stuntz came out of it slightly better off thanks to Brian waking up from KO, and their Apo returning Jaap to the reserves box. Both teams were able to line up with 11 players for the second half, with the 'Tusks now receiving. Coach Bron even made a persuasive case to convince the ref to let Urgoth remain on the pitch! Kick went in to touch, was gathered up and moved behind a screen, ready to start grinding down the pitch. Goblin bomber, now on the pitch, lobbed his first bomb of the match, flattening two Stuntz successfully. Things started to go downhill after this however... A failed handoff just behind the LoS left the Stuntz in a position to surround the ball. Around about this time Reedars dice woke up in dramatic fashion, with armour break after armour break being rolled. "oh look, another eleven" was uttered by Bron. Several times. With the ball secure and a distinct numbers advantage on the pitch, the Stuntz were fairly easily able to move the ball off into the corner by the end zone, screen with a trio of players, and run down the clock to walk over the line in T8 for a winning touchdown. With 'dice karma' being an actual thing, Coach Reedar is now dreading his next game.... 2019-03-05 01:33:42 Match: Mutated Maurauders (2) vs. Evilution (0) The game put the BLood into BB as the two teams tore into each other over the ball until Dorrakar forgot himself and gracefully leapt into the ball to intercept a clearing punt. Having used up the wizard and with Max having left the pitch without causing any damage, the more experienced chaos team's skills dominated the second half. 2019-03-03 03:11:13 Match: Evilution (0) vs. Khaine's Vengeance (0) A game dominated by the Chaos, but neither team could deliver on the touchdowns! Same old story :) 2019-03-02 07:37:58 Match: Mutated Maurauders (2) vs. Wasabi Wanderers (0) Big bad Bunce beats up boys! But no permanent damage... 2019-03-02 06:15:51 Match: Flubber (2) vs. Jed Eye (1) A good start from the Goblins with +2 fame and a T1 SI on the ratogre from the fanatic. Thankfully for the Rats the appoth saved a GR from death meaning that the only death on pitch was a linerat, Goblin Sann continued to make a nuisance of himself and got the MVP as a result. The 50k spent from goblin treasury To hire Fink (who did absolutely nothing all game) was taken off the 90k winnings to save the admin headache. 2019-02-27 17:08:06 Match: Molten Fury (3) vs. Ratty Scumbags (1) What a shambles for the Scumbags. The unredoubtable Mr Quick, as he does, scored in the first turn after the Scumbags elected to recieve. Then Molten Fury started to assert themselves in a blooded frenzy of extermination. As Molten fury took the full eight turns of the first half to level the game one all, they concentrated on removing the Scumbags from the field and the rats were slaughtered! With the scumbags leaving the field in droves, they were down to 6 players at the start of the second half and finished the game with only 2 on the pitch! Of the eight Scumbags players knocked out during the game, only two made it back onto the pitch and with five casualties on top, including a dead Blitzer and yet another niggling injury to a Gutter Runner, there was nothing they could do to stop the full crushing might of Molten Fury rolling over the few left, to smash in two more touchdowns! Mr Quick survived, however, and now only needs three SSPs to reach legendary status. Will he make it into the archives of renown, we can only wait and see. Pity the Fury’s next opponents as they picked up three more skills, all in order to max out their ablility to crush any and all opposition! 2019-02-21 09:46:12 Match: Golden Lights (3) vs. Jed Eye (0) The fans were eager to get in on the action, and stormed the pitch twice during this match. Skaven were outclassed and struggled to make any impact, while the Elves were happy to dodge all over the place and score with ease. 2019-02-20 18:03:21 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (3) vs. Molten Fury (0) Dark elves played well, my dice where slightly worse than average. Well deserved win for the elves.... 2019-02-20 16:22:55 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (2) vs. Aaron’s Packers (1) A Wanderers win, after Griff misfired slightly. Also the pesky Bret with Frenzy enjoyed himself far too much in this match! 2019-02-18 16:29:52 Match: The CeeBeebies Crushers (1) vs. Dreadfully Departed (4) What to say about that one. The ogre ground out a 1:0 lead with an ogre going for it.... probably remembering the other ogre being mauled by the werewolf on his tail. A pitch invasion in the following kick off left a massive hole in the ogre line that the necromantic team ran through to score the equaliser by half time. Second half and the overs were left scratching their heads as the undead pretended to be elves dancing around them. The ogre tried for the turn16 one Turner the ogre threw the handling too hard leaving a new blood stain on the pitch as the snotling died on landing 2019-02-18 16:12:21 Match: Flubber (1) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (1) The Orks were saved by the rain. The tuskmusters would also like to thank their apORCethary for saving Lil Ironguts' worthless hide from certain death, and their brave mascot acowley, who finally fed the troll. With himself. Poor little bastard. 2019-02-16 17:48:15 Match: Black Ark Buccaneers (1) vs. Evilution (1) After catching the ball on a Blitz in the first kick off at Firestorm games, this should have been a walk in the park for the overdog Chaos team, despite a season debut for Mordredd Hex. A couple of coaching mistakes made it more difficult than it should have been, and then some marvellous elf nonsense snuck the draw in the end (5+ dodge, half dice pow, 4+ dodge, 4+ pick up, 5+ pass, 3+ catch, though who is counting...) 2019-02-16 11:48:04 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (2) vs. Wasabi Wanderers (0) Dementor took the reins, and is still bemoaning having to roll 3+ rather than 2+ on his favoured pro elves. Onwards and upwards! 2019-02-16 08:03:02 Match: Nobles of Pig Hill (0) vs. Second Star to the Right (0) Admin draw. 2019-02-13 10:37:07 Match: Dreadfully Departed (1) vs. Flubber (2) Entertaining game where Sann the goblin was blessed by nuffle every block made against him the attacker went down, the doom diver kept doing the impossible and after flesheater scored his touchdown he was completely unable to pick up the ball..... did the goblin coach spike his half time drink, we shall never know 2019-02-11 16:26:29 Match: Pointyearelfian Eagles (1) vs. Evilution (1) Flipping ridiculous game to kick off the season, with the superstar throwing team getting one quick pass completion and the killy monsters causing one genuine casualty (plus a crowd cas and a foul cas). An elvish blitz wasn't as bad as it could have been as only a few elves were able to get into a decent position, and when an early Chaos block rolled 6,6,6,6,6 on the armour, injury and casualty it was looking bad. Evilution managed to mess up their drive on turn 7 though, leaving an easy blitz opportunity on the ball carrier, and then when the fireball spluttered it was 0-0 at the half with the wizard gone, and looking bad. The ball was obviously greased in the break however, as a snake eyes on the pick up meant early Chaos pressure on the ball, and then a surprising two-turn score. The second elf reception wasn't much better, as the ball went super deep and the beasts swarmed towards it. A 3+ long bomb from the star thrower went astray, but close enough to the end zone to be collected the next turn to equalise. The final chaos drive was as scrappy as the rest of the game, and a draw was a fair result, although it might well have felt like a loss for both teams! It's going to be a long season... 2019-02-11 15:54:16 Match: Creeveland Coneheads (2) vs. Rumbling train (3) Painful game for the elves :-) 2019-02-08 12:34:42 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles On the eve of the last game in the tri-game series with Rottingham Forrest, the Eagles are still managing to keep their kit clean...just about. After game 2, which was a surprise in that no Elves died this time, the Eagles are feeling confident of going on into their second season. Players are working on new techniques and skills, and some of these will hopefully bear fruit in the new season. The head coach of the Eagles is looking to hopefully improve on his first, with the playoffs the target at the minimum. He knows this will be a tall order though, as some experienced teams are coming back to the league. Time will tell what the future holds for the Eagles. 2019-02-07 06:27:05 Team news by Molten Fury we are back..... Fusion says "hi" : BH/SI/Ki 8/4/3 2019-02-06 22:09:40 Match: Evilution (1) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (1) A truly crazy game that was more entertaining then the 1-1 score line would have you believe. The chaos team started with the ball but after a blitz and very successful fireball left the ball carrier out and in the open, the orcs were unable to do anything but push him around. This clearly angered the chaos gods as the chaos team began to smash though the orcs heavy armour like it was paper. At the end of the 8 turn drive there were only two black orcs left on the pitch. A honest ref not only removed a beastmen but also refused to except the bribe for max spleenripper. The orcs turn 8 almost saw a one turner but the goblin smashed into the floor to end the half. The second half now saw the orcs beginning to win the fight and even the numbers up on the pitch. The ball was moved up the field quick by the goblin however a lighting bolt stuck him down near the goal line. The orcs made a lot of 4+ dodges to crowd the ball area and star blitzer flash was pushed into the end zone of turn 6 to even up the game. The next kickoff saw the two beastmen defenders struggle to pick the ball up, the orcs pounced on this, pressuring the defence. Again the orcs were forced to lots of 4+ dodges to surf a beastmen holding the ball in the end zone. The crowd chucked it back in and it was so very close to a orc victory. But alas the throw was bad. Very fun game and a big thank you to mike for what might be my last saw league game ( potentially ) for the next couple of years, depending on what happens with work. 2019-01-28 18:36:16 Match: Horkon's Hydras (2) vs. Dreadfully Departed (1) Horkon and his Hydras went into this match knowing that they would have a fight on their hands, and they were correct. The Departed won the toss and decided to receive the ball. As the kick landed on the ground, Horkon gave the signal and the Hydras blitzed forward. Telyn darted past one of the Wights, flicking his blade out as he did. A sweet connection meant that the Wight was taken out of the game, although the wound would regenerate in time. After some tooing and froing, the Hydras recovered the ball and scored. The second half saw Rex equalise for the Departed, and some Hydras were sat in the dug out, either unconscious or nursing injuries that would see them miss the rest of this game. There were only 6 Hydra players left standing to line up to receive the kick off, but they still went on the attack and managed to score, a break away down the right hand side by Zurok culminating in touchdown. The crowd were obviously liking this game, as not 1, not 2, but 3 rocks were thrown in the second half. The Departed tried to pull off a magic one turner, but a both down result by a Golem put paid to that. A hard fought victory, and a game well played by both teams. 2019-01-24 16:26:42 Match: T'Kila Slammers (4) vs. Rottingham forrest (0) Short overview: Rottingham Forrest gets burned on kickoff results Long overview: The Slammers kick and the ball scatters into a widezone towards the line of scrimmage. The Forrest nearly come unstuck as the beast both downs in the opening block but passes the loner reroll, the ball is picked up but fails to be secured and the faster Lizards are able to split the offence before the cage is formed, with a turnover from a failed dodge allowing the ball to be collected for a defensive TD in turn 3. The Rotters receive again but another good kick and a perfect defence allows the Slammers another steal when the pickup is failed and a 2nd TD is scored in T6. A riot then ensures the Forrest have no chance of scoring a consolation TD in the first half. The Slammers receive and the Lizards waste no time - pushing down a wideszone with the help of sidestep and scoring in Turn 5. A blitz result then allows the Lizards a 4th score in turn 5 as the hapless nurgle barely get to respond before the ball is over the line A thrown rock Stuns Bloater Festus on the next drive, and the turn ends early for both teams as both are out of rerolls and many bothdowns are rolled. Sidestepping skink Limoncello is killed and raised as well and a rotter is also killed. All the injuries predictably come after the score and the game are effectively settled! Good fun though :-) 2019-01-24 06:55:23 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles So, the head of scheduling has just released the fact that the Eagles will be playing a season friendly against Rottingham Forest, a relatively new Nurgle team. The game will be tough, and the team will have to make sure they clean their uniforms at least twice after the game. They have had experience of this before after playing another Nurgle team before. We will keep a close eye on a few of the players on the Eagles roster, as it appears their training has been going really well and they working on a few new things it seems. 2019-01-23 06:28:20 Team news by Horkon's Hydras Emerging from the shadows that conceal the Hydra's training facility, the head coach has given a rare interview. Training has been going really well, and the team are ready to hopefully improve on their current record of 1-2. Players have learnt valuable skills that will help them do this, and they are looking to do with viscious flair. They have arranged a season friendly against an up and coming (literally out of the ground!) Necromantic team called the Dreadfully Departed. This should prove a challenge, but the Hydras are looking forward to the game with twisted smiles on their faces...and I am sure at least one of them will have a twisted blade to match! 2019-01-23 06:13:40 Match: Aaron’s Packers (1) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (1) In their last game of the season, the green skinned Tuskmusters found themselves matched against the green-clad Packers, who managed to secure none other than Griff Oberwald playing for their inducements. The humans received and swiftly rushed into their first and only touchdown in round two, giving the much-malignant Orcs plenty of opportunity to even the score in the remainder of the first half. Alas, although they played reasonably risk-free (all their rerolls remained untouched until turn 6), they just didn't seem to manage putting humans down onto the pitch. At one point, their ball-carrying Thrower had to step back, finding himself without the comfort of a cage and thus losing vital progress down the field. Second half, and the Orcs received. Again it was Chuck Lobba running the ball downfield, repeating the strategic retreat, weaving back to the left flank to hand the ball over to a hopeful orc Blitzer, who was flattened only a few yards away from the Packer's touchdown line. A frantic scrabble for the ball ensued in the humans' mid-field, which was finally decided by a couple of rustic black orc pushes, that opened a corridor for Chuck to once more pickup the ball and run it in. Two more turns remained for the humans to top the equalizing score, but fatefully they tried to run the ball past Grub Takklgrabba, and once more Chuck got his hands on the ball. The orcs finished their season with a crowd-pleasing if futile fling of the goblin: Cowley was given the ball and thrown high into the air by all-time fan favourite Wun Wun. Frequent fouler Cowley survived the fall, but the humans could no longer pick up and score. No wonder the goblin was awarded the Most Vulture-like Player Award for this game. All in all a satisfactory Draw watched by twenty-nine thousand stalwart fans. Will the orcs return for a third and final season now that they seem to finally got the hang of the game? Time will tell. 2019-01-21 14:04:24 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles So, venturing once more back into the Pointyearelfian Eagles dressing reveals a new found determination to play and show the other teams that they can play. The training has been hard, with a couple of knocks on the way, but they are focused on the new season ahead and getting some pre season games in to blow away the cobwebs after their play off season. The schedule writers are looking to book matches as soon as they can before the start of the season. This is Alain McRoberts reporting for Talabheim TV once again. 2019-01-21 06:35:05 Match: Rumbling train (2) vs. Mathraticians (1) Skaven showed the dwarves how quick they were blitzing down the wing for a turn 2 touchdown. The dwarves not put off by this cage up and rumbled forward knocking skaven out as they went with zara and grim ironfist assisting the cage rumbled in for a turn 8 touchdown... the question is how many skaven would come back? Second half a few skaven came back the rat ogre was still cowering in the box, so the dwarves attempted to cage up (key word attempted) but with two failed pick ups.. the star gutter runner spotted an opportunity he got himself out of trouble sprinted down the field showed the runner how to pick up the ball.. this pissed off the runner who tripped him up as he went to dodge away. Thus allowing the dwarves to cage up and roll down the field removing skaven at will for a turn 16 2-1 win. Great game lots of moments and some extremely high dice rolling from me (sorry jacob) 2019-01-20 02:48:56 Match: Awks Much? (3) vs. Splinter's Disciples (0) I was genuinely trying to be friendly, but I pledge next time I play a friendly against a new coach I will go stunty, as this was a bit of a battering. No doubt there will be revenge! 2019-01-19 10:49:51 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (0) vs. Mathraticians (0) Admin draw. 2019-01-19 06:54:48 Match: Arachnophobia (5) vs. Dwellers Below (0) The Dwellers battled on with 2 induced stars..... but leap was their undoing and the ag4 s3 catcher with guard caused lots of issue as did 4 diving tackle blitzers 2019-01-17 17:09:53 Match: The CeeBeebies Crushers (2) vs. The Blood Paladins (0) The Crushers induced a chef and a babe for the match. The chef took 2 rerolls and the resulting lovely smells apparently made the vamps very hungry - I've never seen so many failed bloodlusts since Leighton coached them! As the vamps snacked on their teammates, the offence stalled an the ball was sacked. The Crushers surrounded it but neither team were able to secure it before the halftime whistle sounded. 2nd Half saw the Ogres receive and Mighty Blow started thinning the defence before the snotling La-La ran across the line to score. Still up on Rerolls thanks to brilliant coaching and failure of the chef, Paladins Vampire Druscilla LebReton and a thrall attendant brake through the defence on the Crushers' left widezone however a blitz and a block saw both the Vampire and Thrall attendant leave the pitch in the following turn. The play degenerates into a brawl which sees several more thralls injured or KOd and a fumbled pass leaves the ball loose. The Crushers are then able to feed some snotlings through the ruck and steal the ball for a turn 7 score, but not before another vampire is seriously injured. Regen saves the day though, and they will return! 2019-01-17 04:48:54 Match: Flubber (1) vs. Khaine's Vengeance (2) Ripper was a beast but even he couldn't prevent a failed landing. 2019-01-15 16:35:45 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (0) vs. Shorties Bulls (0) Admin draw 2019-01-15 06:04:35 Match: Nobles of Pig Hill (0) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (2) And the long drought seems over! In their unprecendented second win in a row, the Tuskmusters beat the Nobles of Pig Hill reasonably fair and square - with only a few fouls here and there, but as the ref didn't see them, so didn't you, and don't let my spiked club deter you from claiming otherwise. No...? Thought so. First half, and the elves chose to kick to their opponents. A wise move, it seemed at first, as the orcs took their sweet time rolling their cage up the field and suffered a mis-step within smelling range of the touchdown line. But Prince Moranion, their star player, had by then long since retired into the KO box, and refused to leave the Bloodweiser Barrel unguarded for the rest of the game. Orc thrower Chuck Lobba had chosen to run with the slow cage, and found himself right next to the dropped ball, walking it over the line mere moments before the first half was over. The elves tried their one-turn-touchdown shenanigans as their last play that half, but their choreography didn't pay off. Second half, the kid gloves came off. While the Tuskmusters' tusks couldn't breach skimpy high elf armour before, now they sent pointy ear after pointy ear into the KO box or the casualties, too fast for their apothecary to decide which illuminated soul to save. Some of these casualties, to be fair, were the result of unwise or unlucky dodges, but Tootvale sure didn't complain when they found themselves with only three more opponents on the pitch. This time, it was blitzer Grub Takklgrabba who scored the touchdown, only the second in his short and bloody career. All in all an unlucky turn for the Nobles, who mourn the loss of one of their number - we just weren't sure which one as their roster and their kit numbers didn't always match. Looks like Elf's back on the menu, boys. 2019-01-14 16:44:47 Team news by Tootvale Tuskmusters Tonight, the penultimate match of season 13 for these two very different teams. Enderman's fresh-faced and undefeated Nobles of Pig Hill will clash with two-season veterans and very OFTEN defeated Tootvale Tuskmusters. High Elf or Orc - who would you bet on? 2019-01-14 06:25:43 Match: Dwellers Below (4) vs. Mathraticians (5) Fantastic game. 7casualties, 9 touchdowns, 2 sent off for fouling. Great fun. 2019-01-11 11:16:58 Match: The CeeBeebies Crushers (2) vs. Second Star to the Right (1) A brutal game. The Second Stars received, but a bothdown from their mercenary Ogre saw their first turn end early. The Crushers pushed upfield, pressuring the ball that was collected by catcher Rufi O'Two in the backfield. Chuggington couldn't quite get to Rufi using break tackle, so hit a cage corner marking the catcher who then promptly failed the dodge to safety in the following turn. Snotling Eric II is able to pick up and score in Turn 4. The Humans' 2nd drive goes better and they use their speed to break through the Ogre defence and stall for a turn 8 score. The ball is then kicked to a sideline, one square too far for the Crushers to attempt a one turn throw in reply. The Ogres receive in the 2nd half and things go quickly downhill for the Stars, as 2 out of 3 linemen are carted to the Dead&Injured box in opening blocks. The Ogres then Injure another player next turn but failed boneheads mean the ball is exposed and they aren't able to prevent the carrier being sacked. Weight of numbers starts hurting though, as the Star's Mercenary Ogre is killed and another player is seriously injured in the ensuing scrabble for the ball. With the defence in tatters, the Crushers are able to cage and score a running touchdown to secure victory! 2019-01-10 11:13:54 Match: Pfeildörf Pirates (1) vs. Ice Cold & Commando (0) The final game of the season for these two teams offered little reward, with both teams already out of the running for the title. This didn't stop 31,000 noisy fans making their way to the stadium, their cheers helping Hack Enslash drown out the sound of his idle chainsaw from the referee's ears. The Pirates won the kick and elected to receive, to maximise the damage they could cause in the first-half. The first few blocks saw two Norse Linemen leave the pitch, and this brutality continued for the half. The Norsemen pressured the ball well, but just couldn't outpunch the Undead team, helped by a relatively well behaved Hack Enslash (only one kickback from five chainsaw uses, resulting in just a stun), though he did have to lace the referee's pocket with silver in turn five just to stay on the field. During their pestering of the Pirates' advance, Steiner Grimface, a rookie Ulfwerner with aspirations of being the next big thing, fancied his chances with a two-die uphill block against Pirates' Mummy, Pamien The Manifested. Unfortunately, Steiner came off worse, and went on his way to doggy Valhalla. One of three casualties Pamien inflicted in a single half. The Pirates managed a vanity surf to push a Blitzer into the crowd in turn six, after stalling out for a couple of turn, before Agazhul Malicius ran the touchdown in. At this point, the Norse team clearly had their end of season party; coach Wishazu elected to save more bloodshed, dragging them all off the field and onto their waiting longboat before the second-half could begin. Newly shaved and neutered, former Ulfwerner Steiner is now a slightly less aspirational member of the Pirates' squad, ahead of season 14. 2019-01-09 04:36:32 Match: Evilution (2) vs. Kunnin Stuntz (1) Reedar: I've got twice as much Block and Guard as the Chaos, and four times as much Mighty Blow; I might lose the match but I should at least win the fight. Sann: Have you met my black dice? :) 2019-01-07 17:05:54 Team news by The Blood Paladins The second half of the season is drawing to a close, with the Blood Paladins final game of the season in the process of being scheduled. This half of the season has seen the Blood Paladins progress, with 5 points from 4 games which is a better return that they were expecting. Of particular note is viciousness of one Thrall, Juliet Gasconne. Her deadly performances have seen her injure 2 players, kill 2 more and earn 2 MVP awards. Needless to say that her masters are keeping an eye on her and have seen the potential there. Annabella Schevre has shown competence with throwing the ball, completing no less than 12 passes in her relatively short career. This option of play will undoubtedly be exploited more now that Druscila has spent a bit more time on practising catching the ball. This combined with her speed and agility should hopefully make for another threat with the passing option open to the Vampires. Fans and critics alike await the result of the last game of this teams' first season. 2018-12-31 07:36:48 Match: The Blood Paladins (1) vs. Aaron’s Packers (1) The Packers took to the road again equipped with plenty of garlic and holy water to meet the Blood Paladins in their castle lair. The Packers chose to receive and controlled possession with a good line of guards led by a guest appearance from “The Mighty Zug”. Aided by a slightly more than expected failed rolls for for “munchies” from the vampires, the Packers advanced within range and Kyle Frackrell ran over on turn 6 for the first score. The Paladins continued to munch on their thrills but Juliet Gascogne remained resolutely focused on taking out the invaders. One almighty whack saw Nelson bite the dust, the Apothecary having already saved someone from certain death. Juliet then continued her impressive form by going on th kill Davante Adams in the 2nd half - she certainly has aspirations beyond her lowly level in the castle. The Paladins could not break through during the rest of the half. A near perfect kick-off saw the ball land as far away as possible away from the attackers. A sneaky foul by Nick Perry on a downed Vampire in turn 2 was spotted by the ref and even the bribe fell on deaf ears - cries of home referee rang out from the Packers Bench. The Paladins then exploited a hole on the right of the field and advanced through the gap to score in the 4th turn of the half. The remainer of the match saw the ball change hands several times resulting in a final chance for the Paladins. Despite feeling very hungry indeed, a dodge to pick up the ball before an inaccurate pass. Try as they might, the thrall simply couldn’t reach it. The Vampire thrower then disappeared into the crowd to feed. The Packers were unable to score so looked to injure as many Paladin’s as possible. However, their heart wasn’t in it, they were probably more interested in getting out of there and back to home ground. A close encounter which could have gone either way and it was good to see Zug back on the pitch. 2018-12-28 07:49:55 Match: Arachnophobia (2) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (2) Two opposite team played to their strengths, slann jumping all over the place in a aggressive ball attacking style and a slow grinding orc cage game. Finished 2 - 2 but the slann paided a high price for the draw with the death of tarantula the teams krox. 2018-12-20 12:12:57 Match: The CeeBeebies Crushers (1) vs. Aaron’s Packers (0) What a laugh! Ogres failing bone head checks, stunties dodging all over the place, and those annoying (or good if they’re yours!) sidestep cunning they have. Having elected to kick off the Packers restricted progress, partly by sheer good luck, and it looked like the half would end without a score. However, an excelent blitz saw the ball bounce free into the greatful arms of an ogre who successfully went for the line at the end of turn 7. This meant that turn 8 was only useful for taking players out. Aided by a pitch invasion stunning about 5 players from each side, the Packers saw an opportunity to take out a downed ogre. Mike Daniels stepped up, with some support, to stick one on his opponent. But, being an ogre himself, he wasn’t known for subtlety and was spotted by the ref. Appeals, tantrums and threats all fell on deaf ears and he was gone - I figure it saved him being injured and missing the next game, or worse. The second half started dramatically with the Packers well placed to punch an ogre when the defence pulled a great “perfect defence” ploy. Suddenly it was ogres doing the damage. By the turn end there were two more badly hurt. This left the Packers short of numbers. However, they tried to take a chance up their right, which was only guarded by stunties, but failed to take a simple catch - methinks it must have been the ogre bad breath what wafted around the stadium. Stunties went back in on the attack, lost the ball a few times but had enough players around to recover. One desperate blitz by Kyle Frackrell, including a dodge enroute, minimised the likelihood of a further score and earned him MVP. A last turn critical bone head failure meant that was it. A good, hard earned victory for the Crushers. 2018-12-19 16:45:28 Team news by Tootvale Tuskmusters The Tuskmusters' win rate may not be that of the average halfling team, but when they do score the occasional win, boy do they party! Troll Wun Wun remains a fan favourite, scoring the fourth MVP title in his second season. He did deliver a few impressive punches today, though none as impressive as the team goblin Cowley, who k.o.'d one human opponent and fouled another one into the Casualty box. Chuck Lobba, up till now only the Second Thrower in a team without catchers, managed two Completions despite a first half of Pouring Rain, and invested some training hours into beefing up his throwing arm. We dare not say how he accomplished that lopsided muscle development - archery perhaps? Now that Chuck has stepped out of the shadow of the team's original thrower, Weezl Tossa, that back field veteran has decided to end his sporting career after today's honorary 2:0 Touchdown. Weezl joins the Head Coach as assistant, and already the team feel the benefit from the constant encouragements that his very hefty orthopaedic walking stick can provide. It's more like a club, really. With spikes. Barbed spikes. That are poisoned. Also, rusty. 2018-12-17 18:32:47 Match: Second Star to the Right (0) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (2) Let's just say this game almost made me quit (again) 2018-12-17 17:41:35 Match: Golden Lights (2) vs. Khaine's Vengeance (1) PSA: When rolling a Both Down on the ball carrier, check to see if they have Block skill, rather than choosing the Push instead. Twice. 2018-12-13 17:46:52 Match: Black Ark Buccaneers (2) vs. Maidens of Blood (2) This pre-season friendly was just that in the first half - the only stuns caused were on Thralls, courtesy of peckish Vampires. In an effort to wow the crowds, the Maidens of blood made several pass attempts throughout the match, and not one was successful! One of these fumbles led to the Buccaneers being able to score on the Maidens' opening drive, but the Vampires pulled one back to go 1-1 into the last turn of the half. Sadly, for the Maidens', the Dark Elves obviously put on their punching gloves for their last turn as they promptly killed two Thralls in two Line of Scrimmage blocks - ouch! The Vampires started the second half several players down, but a vanity play by the Dark Elves left the Runner prone in the end zone while the clock ticked down. Eventually, the Runner stumbled over the line, making it 2-1 to the Buccaneers. Some elfy play from the Vampires saw them bag an equaliser late in the game, though another Thrall also left the pitch, having breathed her last. Brutal game for the Maidens, but an entertaining one. Personal highlight was the variety of terms AndSwin has for his Thralls, including 'Bloodbag', 'Lunchbag', 'Packed Lunch', 'Sandwiches' and 'meat-sack'. 2018-12-12 08:32:14 Match: The CeeBeebies Crushers (2) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) Bertha dodged in to sack the ball carrier in the opening drive to score a defensive TD. The Ogres then had their drive broken in the 2nd half but were rescued by an Ogre interception! Fun game, the Orcs appeared to be wearing elf armour as there were 5 left on field at the end of the match. 2018-12-12 01:53:06 Match: Nobles of Pig Hill (3) vs. The Blood Paladins (3) The third game of the Blood Paladins season was an away game at the Nobles of Pig Hill. Although there was a gulf in the players skills, the fans packed in to the stadium - 28,000 of them! This was, in part, due to the fact that no less than three stars of the game had turned up to play. Morg'N'Thorg and Prince Moranion had agreed to play for the Nobles, whilst Wilhelm Chaney decided to play for the Paladins. This was indeed going to be a game of three's... The Vampires received the kick and on the ensuing drive scored quickly, a surprising burst of speed leading to the TD. Not to be out done, the High Elves responded quickly and the scores were soon level. More passing shenanigans later, and the Elves found themselves in the lead. The Paladins needed a quick reply, and the spur for this was when Morg was knocked down by Chaney. Seeing the opportunity to put the boot in, the Paladins surrounded the prone star. Geraldine Tuscany ran in and launched herself up in to the air and then drove her knee down right on to Morgs' neck. There was a sickening crack and the big man had to be carted from the field. He would play no further part in this match. A second score for the Paladins ensued. The second half saw a slight decline in scoring, with the High Elves once again taking the lead. Trying to get the ball back, the Paladins desperately sought to get into position to make the fumble from the High Elves count. Prince Moranion fell foul of Chaney, being well and truly knocked out. He would go onto stay unconscious for the rest of the half. Time was running out for the Paladins though, and desperate times called for desperate measures. Isabella Lebreton sprang up from her prone position and ran into the end zone. This was going to be the last action in the half, as the pass came in and was caught to tie. 3 - 3 is how it finished, with more touchdowns and less blood than expected. 2018-12-11 03:31:38 Match: Nobles of Pig Hill (2) vs. Aaron’s Packers (2) A close game that the Nobles threw away in the last turn to turn a clear win into a draw. The first half belonged to the High Elf’s. The Packers simply couldn’t get going whilst the Nobles produced all the shenanigans to score two touch downs. The first saw the ball snatched away despite two tackle zones and a graceful dodge away to stroll in. The second was so outrageous! A long pass into two tackle zones, 2 dodges and from nowhere 2:0. Even the Nobles Apothecary earned his wages bringing back one of the players from death to little more than a scratch. The second half started tamely. Eventually the Packers got their game together with a pass, a hand-off leading to a simple run in. The final touchdown was lucky. The Nobles thrower was hemmed in and failed his dodges to escape spilling the ball. After some blocks and a blitz to try to open up the ball, Kyle Frackrell made his move, picked up in a tackle zone, dodged away and passed to Clay Matthews who caught it and strolled in. Oh how the Packers fans cheered whilst the Nobles scratched their heads wondering what the heck had happened. 2018-12-08 16:01:35 Match: Arachnophobia (4) vs. Mathraticians (0) "Dead dead gutter runner, sneaky sneaky spider Blitzer with his trippy webs and diving tackles" 2018-12-01 09:23:45 Match: Dwellers Below (0) vs. Evilution (3) The Dwellers got smashed to pieces and coudn’t mount an effective defence. It's true <ed> 2018-11-30 08:46:43 Match: Pfeildörf Pirates (0) vs. Mutated Maurauders (1) The first Block of this game killed a Block/Guard Beastman, which set a worrying tone for the Maurauders, but they managed to weather the storm and come out with another win to top the division. The Pirates induced Horatio X. Schottenheim, Count Luthor Von Drakenborg and a local Weather Mage, and would be seeking for a refund on all three by the end of the match. With the Maurauders electing to kick in the first half, the Pirates starting well, removing a couple of players in the first few turns. They pushed up the pitch, but a couple of one dice Pows meant the ball was lose and a +AG Chaos Warrior is a difficult thing to pin down. The Pirates' coach definitely left it too late to drag Horatio from the bar as his fireball scattered off into the distance, singeing only grass. The Weather Mage was obviously right next door to Schottenheim in the bar, as he managed to conjure up nothing more than a gust of wind to have no impact on stopping the Warrior. The last hope was Count Luthor, who followed the trend and failed a GFI needed to get two-dice on the ball carrier, who walked in on turn eight. In the second half it was 11 vs. 11 and the Chaos team looked confident. In an attempt to get a hit on the ball carrier, Horatio was woken from his drunken slumber (missed, again) and the Count attempted a Hypnotic Gaze (also failed). It took a couple of turns, but the Pirates managed to get the ball free and in the hands of the +AG Ghoul. All that was needed to free him up for the equaliser was a push, but Yioqur the Decrepit rolled a Skull and died. That meant the score finished 1-0 to the Maurauders, who now top the table with 10pts, and the Pirates team trudged off to join Horatio and the Weather Mage for several pints of Bugmans XXXXXX in the stadium tavern... 2018-11-28 16:46:54 Match: Pfeildörf Pirates (1) vs. Shorties Bulls (1) Alas Ironhide is no more. He passed into stuff of legend and in his place the iron fist of his son will rise to reap his vengeance. 2018-11-25 17:18:42 Match: Da ironhide cowboyz (2) vs. Dwellers Below (1) The orcs tipped up today for a fight and it showed in the first half as they rolled over the underworlders. However after the tipical 8 turn grind, the dwellers couldn’t of come closer to a first half equaliser. The troll launched the gobbo deep into the cowboys half and he not only landed in a tacklezone but also managed to dodge the orc defenders, just to trip over the line because of a untied shoe lace. Second half saw the dwellers push up the right hand side of the pitch but strong orc cover defence made the underworld team decide to run it in for a early score. The orcs repeat the first half with a brutal cage drive. Mitch did manage to sack the ball carrier but by then it was too late and flash picked up and ran it in for his second score to finish the match. 2018-11-22 19:16:21 Match: Nobles of Pig Hill (1) vs. Da Brokun Spinez (0) Admin win 2018-11-21 09:43:20 Match: Mutated Maurauders (1) vs. Ice Cold & Commando (1) Quite simply, a bloodbath! 2018-11-13 16:15:22 Match: Golden Lights (0) vs. Shorties Bulls (1) The Elven babes were worth the money. 2018-11-11 19:06:28 Match: Mathraticians (1) vs. Evilution (2) The rats were always likely to be able to score at will, and they held out until turn 3 before doing so! Overlooking kick meant that there was enough time to score back, and enough rats were off the pitch that it should have been straightforward to trundle up the pitch, but the combination of a well-behaved rat ogre and a wrestle horns gutter made life very difficult! A beastman snuck over the line in turn 16, and with only 4 players (horrible KO rolls) the one-turner was never really on. 2018-11-08 01:26:01 Match: The Blood Paladins (1) vs. Second Star to the Right (2) Both teams arrived looking to continue their winning ways. Blood Paladins set their plans out straight away by knocking out a player with the first block. This set off the vampires thirst and fed on a player sending them to the cas box. Turn three saw a vamp running into open space and tripping over when GFI to try and gain some further distance. Zara managed to cas a player with a stab and then spent the rest of the game looking angry but not really doing anything. The vamps managed to secure the ball and make a run for the line, two blizters caught up and knocked him over. The humans then set up perfectly for getting the ball far up the other end of the pitch; only to fail a RR hand off!!! A thrall grabbed the ball and threw it to a waiting vamp in the end zone. With two turns left the humans managed to get a catcher within scoring distance. The vamos hypno gazed a few players and the catcher was knocked off his feet, thankfully the ball fell to a blitzer who ran it in with a RR GFI. The second half was more of a fist fight with only one bad dice roll by the vamps deciding the game. The humans had managed to herd the vampire team to the right of the pitch and set up a cage on the left. A thrall attempted a block only to get a double both down, re-roll and same result. This allowed the humans to run near the end zone and stall for a enough turns so the vamps could not retaliate. 2018-11-08 01:18:59 Match: Shorties Bulls (0) vs. Mutated Maurauders (1) Report to follow 2018-11-06 13:42:35 Match: Mathraticians (0) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (1) The orcs were able to pin the skaven to the left flank and shove enough of them off to Force them to make a break away score attempt. The crowd however weren’t there for blood and return the skaven to either the ko or reserve benches. There were enough orks back to sack the ball carrier and even move it up to one of the waiting lineorks. But before he could make a dash for the line a huge muscled ratogre smashed him to the ground. The second half played out to the orcs style of play. A slow cage grind up the pitch rolling over any rat brave enough to stand in the way. The skaven has a chance at a one turn touchdown attempt back but no body told the ratogre that he was meant to push the troll and not know him to the ground. 2018-10-31 18:44:45 Match: Aaron’s Packers (1) vs. Second Star to the Right (4) Both team's coaches turned up with fairly similar team sheets; the only real difference was one had an ogre. Aaron's Packers elected to receive and swiftly scored a T2 TD due to some poor defensive positioning and APs taking full advantage running in for the score. Not to be shown up, and already a player down in the injury box, SSTTR set up a score from deep in their own half, passing to a catcher who handed off to the other catcher and running in for a score in T4. APs set up to receive and started a mighty scrum in the middle of the field. Their thrower fumbled the ball and SSTTR must have been drinking something strange during the mid season break as the started to act like elves. Jonah Juniper dodge out of one tackle zone, dodges into another to pick up the ball, throws the ball accurately from said tackle zone to a lonely catcher; he then runs up the pitch and GFI over the white wash for another two turn score. The remainder of the half was SSTTR losing players to the KO box and stopping a potential return score from APs. Second half SSTTR received the ball and quickly set about putting some space between the teams, scoring again in T7. Two scores behind APs needed to respond fast. An attempted hand off went horribly wrong and the ball bounced all around the scrum before ending up SSTTR's catcher; who dodged away and ran in for a fourth TD. With the clock running down and the chance of a draw slipping away APs decided to try and take out as many players as possible. Thankfully SSTTR players were either KO or BH. 2018-10-30 16:22:15 Team news by The Blood Paladins After the first half of the season, the Blood Paladins have looked to sort things out both on and off the field. The 2 - 0 defeat to Ice Cold and Commando gave the team the kick up the backside they seemed to need, and they went in to the friendly against Rottingham Forrest with renewed vigour. This resulted in a surprising 3 - 0 victory. Isabella and Druscilla both learnt valuable skills during this game, which should see them both better prepared for the first game of the second half of the season - a rematch against the Tootvale Tuskmusters! Lilly Kashan will be missing this game, due to a knock that she picked up against the Nurgle team. 2018-10-24 06:07:27 Match: Arachnophobia (1) vs. Evilution (0) Good win for the pesky spiders! The Chaos team must have ben tinged with Khorne as they scorned the use of the wizard, always trying to keep it for a more useful moment that never came. With hindsight, a chef would have been a better investment, but having two minotaurs on the pitch was lots of fun (if not terribly effective...) 2018-10-21 15:16:04 Match: Da ironhide cowboyz (1) vs. Kunnin Stuntz (2) To follow.... 2018-10-04 18:20:48 Match: Evilution (3) vs. Second Star to the Right (1) Fighting for a place in mid-table, and thus the silver division, the stakes were... middling. SSTTR scored in 2 turns, which the crowd didn't take well and rioted, giving Evilution 8 turns to score back. Started badly, with not enough protection for the ball, causing a few turns of stress for the Chaos. Eventually managed to make it secure, aided by numerous humans leaving the pitch, and from then on the the numbers advantage made it too difficult. Leighton bore it bravely though! 2018-09-30 14:54:34 Match: Shorties Bulls (1) vs. Bar Room Brawlers (0) Admin win. 2 random MVPs awarded. 2018-09-30 05:07:42 Match: Bar Room Brawlers (0) vs. Mutated Maurauders (1) Admin win. 2 MVPs awarded. 2018-09-30 05:04:58 Match: Ice Cold & Commando (0) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (2) A really brutal game for both sides. It came down to numbers on the pitch in the end and with a lot of the Norse team in the ko box the orcs were able to come out on top. Both teams have suffered losses and are now in a situation were the last game of this part of the season will determine which of these teams will progress to the top league. 2018-09-20 19:34:15 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (0) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) An uneventful game, played out in a full blizzard for the entire match! First half saw the Stuntz receive, and slowly make their way down the pitch, with persistent attention and marking from Tuskmuster players preventing a clean breakaway. Neither side was having much luck breaking armour, with only one Stuntz player ending up in the K/O box, and Weezl Tossa Badly Hurting himself when a Block went wrong... The dice abandoned coach Reedar in T6, with double skull stalling progress. T7 saw another double skull leaving reaching the end zone (two squares distant) in doubt. And then T8 saw a double 1 rolled for a Sure Hands pickup, meaning we went in at half time with the score level at 0-0. Second half saw the most of the match played out in a large ruck in the centre of the pitch, and despite the Stuntz managing to sack the ball carrier, Nuffle again intervened and stopped any attempts by either side from extracting the ball. Armour finally starting being broken, with 3 Tuskmuster Orcs getting Badly Hurt, and 2 k/o'd. T7 the Stuntz finally scooped the ball up, completed a pass and broke down the pitch. T8 saw them needing to run it 7 squares to snatch a victory. Blitzer Ryan got to the end zone, needed to make a single GFI to score.... but the dice agonisingly came up with a '2' and the Blizzard left another player lying on his backside! 2018-09-14 17:25:18 Match: Da Brokun Spinez (0) vs. Second Star to the Right (1) Second Star To the Right travelled to Da Broken Spinez' stadium and on entry in to the stadium the two sets of fans started a riot. The players could only watch as the first turn ticked by and the Orcs were obviously fuelled by the violence as Clanga Ironskull grabbed Peters Wendy by the scruff of the neck, shoved him head first into the ground and killed him outright in the first play of the game! With violence in the forefront of the Orcs mind they forgot about protecting their catcher and the humans managed to knock the ball into open play. The rest of the half was the orcs trying to smash the humans to pieces, the humans trying to get the ball and avoid the violence as much as possible. Second half and the humans received the ball and Michael Smeer held back waiting for the opportunity to throw the ball down field. The Orcs managed to hold back the catchers ensuring they were being closely marked, or knocked over, at all times. By T6 thee were two humans off the pitch injured and another in the KO'd box; things were starting to get desperate and an opportunity opened up for the thrower to get rid of the ball to an open catcher to run in. The throw was accurate, however the sight of enraged orcs running around made the catcher nervous and the ball was dropped. The orcs managed to get a player near the ball but were unable to scoop it up. This left one more chance for the catcher to make amends for his failed catch earlier on. He dodged out of a tackle one, re-rolled a pick in a tackle zone and then re-rolled a failed dodge to run in for a score. Talk about using all available dice!!! With only two turns left the Orcs decided to try and gain some respect by smashing the humans about at every opportunity. For the humans last turn an outsider might have thought Elves were playing as all players were dodging and running away like scared animals. Overall, a hard fought victory for the Second Star To the Right in a tough match where the toughness of the Da Broken Spinez proved to be a little too much for the humans to handle. 2018-09-11 15:30:43 Match: Evilution (0) vs. Golden Lights (6) We will not talk of this again. 2018-09-05 16:21:07 Match: Steedless Silver Helms (3) vs. Aaron’s Packers (2) This afternoons matchup saw Coach Kloppen make his SAWBBL debut with Human team Aarons Packers. They kicked to the Elves, bogged down the Elven drive on the flank, managed to extract the ball and release it to a waiting catch to score in T6. A desperate T7 play in response by the High Elves saw them gather up the ball, pass to catcher Bel-Mantrus and then flood into the human half in the hope of sneaking in a TD before the half ended. Lady luck held out here and, despite having no re-rolls left, the HE were able to pass each and every one of their twelve dodge and GFI rolls. The Packers were unable to put enough bodies in between the Elves and the endzone, allowing the High Elves to go in at half time with the score tied at 1-1. Second half started with the Packers attacking aggressively and maintaining a numbers advantage on the pitch. Sadly Aaron their Thrower was having a shocker, failing crucial GFI and dodge rolls on subsequent drives, allowing the Elves in to snatch up the ball and break away at pace to lead 3-1. On the final drive of the game Kloppen sent catchers Davante and Nelson down each flank to try and claw back a consolation touch down. Aaron then ran down the flank to throw the ball to the catcher waiting in the endzone, only to stay true to form and fall over on his second GFI...! The crowd hurled the ball back into play, with it landing back behind the half way line. On the final turn of the game, one of the Packers linemen scooped the ball up, handed of to nearby Blitzer Blake, who in turn ran halfway into the Elven half before passing to waiting catcher Davante . He was seen mouthing "That's how it's done” to despondent thrower Aaron as the teams made their way into the changing rooms following the final whistle.... Great fun all round, thanks to Kloppen for travelling over, and also for tolerating my kids in the background! 2018-09-01 15:09:11 Team news by Tootvale Tuskmusters After their first win in two seasons, the Tuskmusters celebrated by offering their most underperforming Blitzer, the recently hamstrung Lurtz Hamstringa, to the Blood God. "Ain't no win wifout no casualty", lone Lineorc Hakk philosophised. Lurtz' replacement, Grub Takklgrabba, had better sharpen his knuckledusters to avoid a similar career end. 2018-08-30 18:00:58 Match: The Blood Paladins (1) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (2) Too follow 2018-08-30 17:21:50 Match: Dwellers Below (3) vs. Shorties Bulls (1) To summarise... Flying Goblins, Blitz's and a Mitch. 2018-08-30 17:20:35 Match: Pfeildörf Pirates (1) vs. Mathraticians (0) A packed stadium (un)welcomed the Mathraticians for this one. With four of the rats nursing niggles, it was always likely to be a brutal one and the KO count through the game attested to that. The Mathraticians' coach won the toss and elected to defend for the drive. By turn 4 the Pirates had KOd a blodging sidestepper, turn 4 saw another rat fouled off the pitch, though the referee spotted the foul and then sent the coach off for good measure. In turn 6 a Skaven Blitzer was MNG, reducing the numbers even further. Even with their limited numbers, the Mathraticians managed to almost halt the Undead advance, with a re-roll needing to be used in turn 8 to allow Nopent Malicius, a Ghoul, to slip through the net and score. The second half saw a blizzard descend, just in time for the Mathraticians to start their drive. In turn 9 a Both Down result saw a Zombie survive, whilst an AG5 Gutter Runner left the field. A Ghoul also left the field later in the turn, being Badly Hurt by the remaining Skaven Blitzer. The last few turns of the game were a real scrum. The two remaining Gutter Runners made a break for it, but were caught and taken down. This gave the Pirates a chance of getting a second touchdown, but an optimistic punt down field led to a Ghoul fumbling the ball. The Mathraticians were still up against it to get an equaliser with the scoring threats heavily marked and a failed GFI to try and pop the ball free meant the Pirates took the win. 2018-08-30 06:10:12 Team news by Kunnin Stuntz The Stuntz thrower Edwin has long been complaining about the amount of pressure on him to fulfill the ball handling duties of the team, and that he "can't be everywhere at once". Coach Guiseppe finally relented and recruited a back-up thrower by the name of 'Raymond' to the roster. The squad was said to be overjoyed at the news. With the exception of lineman Paul anyway, once it was made clear that he was being let go to make room for this newcomer. Guiseppe consoled Paul by saying that it was a tough decision, he'd miss having Pauls beady red eyes around the place, but if he wouldn't mind hurrying up and all, he was letting a draft in by holding the door open.... 2018-08-29 14:45:20 Match: Second Star to the Right (4) vs. Pfeildörf Pirates (2) Great game for the fans, most of whom weren't breathing, based on the pre-match FAME roll! Leighton induced Helmut 'Hearbreaker' Wulf, don't expect to hear much about him in this match report! The Second Star won the toss and elected to receive, with the Pirates winning +2 FAME. At the end of turn one, Helmut walked right up to a Skeleton and mashed him(self) in the face. Kickbacked failed, Second Star turned over with Helmut stunned. The Skeleton that had narrowly avoided death (again) returned the favour and fouled Helmut into the casualty box at the end of the Pirates' turn one. Second Star got a quick touchdown in turn 3, and were rewarded by a thrown rock at the kick-off badly hurting one of their linemen. In turn 6 the Humans Badly Hurt Dotic Morte, a Guard Wight, who failed his Regeneration roll. Unfortunately, a few poorly times 1s meant the Pirates were turned over and Second Star ran in their second touchdown to a chorus of boos. Kraulazar Crow threw a vanity pass in the Pirates' turn 8 to earn himself a skill-up... if he survived the match. The second half started with the Pirates 2-0 down and going for at least a draw. That meant stretching themselves pretty thin, pausing only to foul Rufi O'oooh (scorer of the first Second Star touchdown) to death. The team apothecary worked his magic and took the injury result from a 61... to a 66! Rufi shambled off the pitch, straight into the opposing dugout. The Pirates ran in a quick score in turn 11, looking to sneak back into contention. Turn 12 saw Kraulazar Crow (remember him, on his way to a skill-up at full-time?) killed, leaving the Pirates with two Ghouls (another one having been -MV a few turns earlier) on the pitch and looking for at least another touchdown. Not good. Another rock was thrown later in the half, and the last few turns were end to end, finishing with a turn 16 touchdown from the Second Star, sealing the three points for their first win of the season. 2018-08-29 07:04:42 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (2) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (0) Too follow 2018-08-28 16:53:58 Match: Mutated Maurauders (1) vs. Shorties Bulls (2) A Funny old game Played in the brilliant sunshine with a 1st half that saw the Marauder players throwing themselves to the floor faster than man united players in a penalty box and knocking themselves out in the process. This allowed the CD's to take a 2 nil lead going into the break with one of the warriors badly hurt and refusing to see the apoth in case he was sent back out. A swift talking to at 1/2 time produced a better 2nd half performance from the Marauders who quickly worked one score back while managing to knock out a few of the dwarfs (and even injure 1). It wasn't all one way traffic though as 2 other Marauders decided to feign injury. Final play and a riot cut the time down but Ironhide knocked out the bulls had to go route 1 again and try to injure as many players as possible (well if they're not on the pitch they can't score). Final play and the ball was loose. Simple play. Clovensteel to blitz for the line and Lord Iron to pick up and pass. It would need: 1 dice pow. 5+ dodge with Dodge RR. 2 GFI's with sure Hooves. Then 5+ pick up, 2 GFI's 5+ pass then a 4+ catch with 1 team RR......... The dice: Pow, 3 rerolled to 6 for dodge, a 1 rerolled to 2 for 1st GFI, a 6 for 2nd GFI, a 6 to pick up, a 6 to pass......All that was left was a 4+ catch with RR..... 3 Rerolled to a 3! Spiralling expenses paid and a 2 :1 Win for the CD's 2018-08-25 13:13:50 Match: Da Brokun Spinez (0) vs. Evilution (2) Filmed on youtube, though a bit dark! Lots of knock downs, no damage to anyone! This will be the orcs' last game with only 2 blitzers, so now they will be a force to be reckoned with! 2018-08-16 15:01:13 Team news by Bar Room Brawlers He was only the Barman... It is with heavy hearts and full tankards that the Bar Room Brawlers mourn the loss of Jon the Barman, fouled to death by a spider in their brutal 2-1 victory over Arachnophobia. Head Coach, Outcast, had some touching words to add: "He left this life as he lived this life... very, very drunk!" Rumors abound but the most likely replacement is thought to be Thick Skol, certainly no stranger to the team, if a little out of practice. When asked about their prospects for the season, Outcast was not to be drawn, "The game is changing, we played monkeys in our last season and now jumping spiders... whatever next!? We are just looking forward to a "normal" game of Blood Bowl against funny mutated men with claw hands, some upright goats and a mythical half-man, half-bull thing!" 2018-08-16 04:58:27 Match: cheese raiders (2) vs. Trowbridge Elfletic (2) Two newish teams faced off for a friendly match ( it was a shame no one told the players that it was meant to be friendly ). The elves received and fanned out across their halfway line. the raiders burst though the middle of the defense to pressure the ball carrier, however the elves weren't phased by this and worked up the pitch as they had practised. protecting the ball carrier and striking out at select individuals. knowing to try and control the timing of the half they camped out in the corner of the pitch, just by the Skavens right hand touchdown line. the rats used this time to try and reduce the elves numbers not interested on when the elves choose to score. The elves held on to the last safe moment after seeing a couple of there number knocked out and the team slowly shrinking. scoring on turn 7 of the first half. The rats knew they needed to score back before the half and the outlandishly fast gutter runners managed to pull off a impressive one turn touchdown. The second half saw the score tied up and the Skaven outnumbering the elves. again the elves were being removed but only by knock out. The gutter runners controlled the speed of the game and pushed the ball deep into the elf half. Something must of changed in the elves by this stage of the match and they started battering the Skaven. The rats lost three players in a turn and were forced to score early. The elves received again but now they had a huge numbers advantage over the rats. With their last drive up the pitch instead of risking a quick score to push for the win, they elected to beat on the rats some more to impress their fans and send a warning to other teams out there that they wouldn't be bullied by anyone. The score was a 2 - 2 draw but the two remaining Raider players walked off the pitch to their injured and dead friends like they had lost. 2018-08-15 17:35:57 Match: Bar Room Brawlers (2) vs. Arachnophobia (1) Well that was a tactical encounter. Decided by a few simple dice rolls. If the ball had bounced the right way the slann would have won but it bounced entirely the wrong way and was caught by a dwarf. The slann had the more telling blocks causing 2 badly hurts and doing 2 lasting injuries with fouls killing a lineman and niggling a runner whereas the slann apothecary watched the game like a spectator and wasn't interested in all the dwarves many 12s on armour that ended up as a stun or a ko 2018-08-15 16:48:11 Match: Da ironhide cowboyz (1) vs. The Blood Paladins (1) The Blood Paladins lined up for their second match of the season, also against Orc opposition. This would be another tough test for the relatively new Vampire team. The weather held for the game, the occasional gust of wind making perfect Blood Bowl conditions. The Cowboyz elected to kick off after winning the call and proceeded to start hitting Thralls. The Paladins' drive was stopped and the Cowboyz swooped in to pick the ball up and score towards the end of the first half. The second half saw more success for the Paladins. The Cowboyz did well to make it down the field and were knocking out Thralls left and right. Somehow the ball was knocked loose but the number of players on the pitch for the Paladins was dwindling. Bella Von Markov spotted a chance and looked to take it. She saw Druscilla LeBreton dodge away from 2 Cowboyz down field and dash into the end zone. All that was needed was to get the ball to her. The problem with this was that Bella was on the half way line. She got away from the Cowboy marking her and then picked the ball up. She then darted forward as far as she could and looked up. Although used to kicking the ball, she flexed her arm and launched the ball as far ash she could towards Druscilla. Miraculously the pass was on target and deftly caught by the Vampire. Upon kick off, some of the ORc fans showed their frustration at their team being pegged back and caused a riot. Would there be time for yet another twist in the tail? The Cowboyz made their way downfield and pushed a Thrall out of the way. This left the way open for the score, as long as the hand off went to play. Nuffle seemed to intervene at this point and the ball slipped through the Cowboyz' fingers and bounced on the floor. This thrilling match ended in a 1- 1 draw and the two teams left the field largely intact, although a few of the thralls were sporting new bite marks and Nose Picka would be missing the next Cowboyz game after a well landed punch by a Vampire towards the end of the second half. 2018-08-14 17:48:52 Match: Golden Lights (3) vs. Second Star to the Right (1) The way the game started there is little wonder why Second Star To The Right have so little fans. The humans elected to receive the ball and on turn two, under a little pressure from an elf blitzer, the thrower failed a dodge which gave an easy T2 score for the elves. After the kick again the humans had not only failed to bring any fans but also their armour! One dead blitzer and bodies strewn all over the floor, the thrower failed another dodge, dropping the ball again. Turn 5 and the human player failed another dodge allowing another easy score. By now the human coach was raging at the thrower and his team's in-ability to do anything! The human thrower tried to play dirty and although he caused a casualty by fouling, he was caught and sent off!! End of the half and things were looking very bleak for the humans. The elves on the other hand were swaggering around. The second half started just as the first ended with the elves scoring quickly. This sent the small travelling crowd into a frenzy; throwing rocks onto the pitch and causing a casualty. This rampage scared the humans into some serious blocking and over a few turns managed to cause a few more casualties and a few KOs, in the mean time scoring one TD for themselves. After a few turns the elves were desperately scrambling for defence and managed one or two audacious moves to knock the ball out of human hands. The humans managed to secure the ball by the score line for a last turn TD, however, some over zealous blocking caused a turn over and ended the chance of bring the score within one. A good win for the elves with the human coach again wondering what to do with his team. 2018-08-11 16:56:59 Match: Dwellers Below (0) vs. Bar Room Brawlers (2) A brutal game in which the Dwellers dodged and the Brawlers bashed... the latter winning out in the end! The Dwellers won the toss and elected to receive. Some fantastic dodging saw them flood the Brawlers half of the pitch ready to receive the scoring pass. Unfortunately, the pass was a little off mark and the Brawlers were able to recover the loose ball and grind their way toward the touchline for a score just before half-time. The Dwellers set up to launch a goblin for a one-turner but, unfortunately, nobody told the troll who was already thinking about his half-time refreshments. The second half brought new opportunities for the Dwellers in the form of a bomber but high hopes were, once again, dashed as he lit the fuse and promptly blew himself to pieces. This seemed to signify the beginning of the end as the Dwarves systematically removed players from the pitch and began heading for their second score as fast as their little legs and beer-filled bellies would carry them. With only the heroic efforts of Mitch (almost the last man standing) left to stop them they even risked handing the ball to the long beard, Dr Foster, to give him some much-needed experience. Final score Bar Room Brawlers 2 - 0 Dwellers Below 2018-08-10 11:48:48 Match: Khaine's Vengeance (1) vs. Ice Cold & Commando (1) The Norse won the toss and chose to receive, but an asymmetrical setup, Perfect Defense and a short kick put them on the back foot. Hubris started a rampage of breaking armour for the Dark Elves, but after an aggressive marking of the ball carrier was injured and not seen again. The Commandos scored in turn 6, and the Vengeance were able to equalise back. The second half saw the Norse chew through the Elves, only leaving 4 at the end. Only Journeyman Bob could do any return damage, killing Lineman Karl. Whilst the Vengeance got into scoring range on turn 15, the Commandos were able to grab the ball and pass it up field. A 1-1 draw was snatched from the jaws of victory, as Catcher Fafnir hit the endzone tripwire on his last GFI. A very close game! 2018-08-03 16:54:57 Match: Evilution (2) vs. Mathraticians (1) Eventful game this one - a pass to a linerat went wrong on the skaven drive, allowing the Chaos to grab the ball and trundle up the pitch. Perfect defence in the second half caused a bit of havoc, so the gutter runners swooped on the ball. The next Chaos drive was more standard though. Not much damage to either side, happily! 2018-07-29 15:31:07 Match: Evilution (0) vs. Pfeildörf Pirates (3) A rocky start for Team Evilution, as they were led to possibly rue their lack of pre-season preparation. A big opportunity arose as a Mummy rerolled a push into a double skulls, but the heat affected the Chaos coach's decision-making abilities and the Pirates went in 1-0. They were then rewarded with a favourable Blitz, and the second half was a non event. Onwards! 2018-07-27 16:09:01 Match: Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (3) A crazy match that was very much in the favour of the cowboyz. The cowboyz kicked and managed to catch there own kick. Bomber had a amazing first bomb which removed a blitzer and got the apo working over time to bring back to the pitch. This forced them to switch sides to get past the tuskmusters. Cap ran it in to take the lead. The tusks received the ball this time but the cowboyz managed too isolate the cage. The ball carrier was floored and cap dodged in to collect the ball and pass it to nose picka. His little legs worked overtime as he sprinted into the tusks end zone to see out the half. The second half started with the cowboyz setting up to drive up the right hand side of the pitch. The tuskers tried to rush around the other side but were struggling. This was because the cowboyz were flooring them. The tuskers are a tough bunch but this had allowed the cowboyz to carry the ball up deep into there opponents half. The ball was passed to nose picka but he got smashed into the ground ending his part in this match. Ead buttz saw the downed ball and collected it and jogged in to score. The tuskers weren’t able to break through a confident cowboyz defence and the match ended with the cowboyz victorious 3 too 0. 2018-07-26 18:57:09 Team news by Rainey Street Reavers Reavers coach Reedar decided that Blitzer ‘lucky’ was actually better named ‘useless’ after picking up a niggle and naff all else in his first three games. So he fired him. And hired a young replacement ‘lucky II’. Cos that always works, right?? 2018-07-26 16:12:01 Match: Arachnophobia (1) vs. Mutated Maurauders (1) A hard fought draw. Andswin will be the happier of the two coaches having witnessed his team perform a few moments of brilliance in the second half. A kroxigor dodged twice and went for it twice to stop the chaos from scoring then a Blitzer leapt onto a ball in 3 tackle zones and long bombed it upheld to a catcher. Had the catcher resisted the affections of a chaos warrior there may have been a touchdown. The chaos tried to score turn 16 only for the brave Blitzer who had earlier long bombed up field to successfully perform a diving tackle on the only chaos beastman who could score as he tried to dodge clear. 2018-07-23 11:56:12 Match: Second Star to the Right (1) vs. Mathraticians (3) The Skaven arrived a little low on numbers due to a few pre-season friendlies, yet seemed determined not to let this get them down. The game started well for them, electing to kick and then receiving a blitz! This set the tone for the rest of the first half. The Skaven looked like they were playing skittles with the human team, knocking everyone over and managing to KO a player in their first turn. Human turn three one of the players finally decided to throw a decent punch and manged to kill a rat outright. The Apothecary was shaken awake but told to go back to sleep in case he was needed for a more valuable player. The humans did manage to get the ball near the skaven end zone only for a one die blitz to knock the ball carrier over. The human catcher decided to go for it to try and secure the ball only to trip over his laces and end up BH! Skaven grabbed the ball and ran like a rat up a drain pipe to the other end of the pitch to score. At half time there were three KO for the humans and only one decided he fancied another go. Things were looking dire for the humans. The second half started pretty much like first with the rats knocking the humans around and the humans unable to respond. A quick run in for a second skaven score on T2. With two players now in the injury box the humans were getting desperate, lining up heavily on the left all they had to do was secure the ball and get a catcher inside a good cage. The thrower failed a pick up and the coach could only put his head in his hands and ask what had he done wrong????? Thankfully the rats were unable to capitalise on the error and the ball made its way to the catcher who ran it up field secured by a few players. At last the humans were finding the target and a few more skaven left the field. Knowing a loss was on the cards, the touch down was taken hoping that enough pressure could be placed at the kick off to stop another TD. Unfortunately not, the skaven secured the ball down the right hand side of the pitch protecting the ball carrier from any trouble. The humans did try everything possible to make it difficult for a run in, however the bashy rats fought back, smashed the stretched defence aside and ran in for a final TD. 2018-07-22 17:06:30 Match: The Blood Paladins (1) vs. Bashing Battleaxes (3) After their win their previous friendly, the Blood Paladins were brought down to earth with a bump in this game. This was a brutal match, with one Ogre in particular standing out from the rest. Broomhilda wanted to do everything it seemed, from scoring touchdowns to injuring Thralls. No less than 5 Paladins were hurt by the Ogre team. This number was added to by the hunger of the Vampires aswell. Although it was a loss, the team learnt some valuable lessons and will be better prepared now for their first SAWBBL season. 2018-07-22 08:05:07 Match: Shorties Bulls (2) vs. Arachnophobia (1) Despite the refs fear of spiders meaning he was happy to be argued down (twice) rather than risking sending one of the arachnids off the extra strong insecticide worn by Ironhide ensured a 2:1 win for the Bulls. Spiraling expenses paid from the winnings. 2018-07-21 17:16:35 Team news by Kunnin Stuntz Finally, after a whopping 14 games, Bruce the Black Orc has at last reached his first level up! After managing just two casualties, and being up for MVP every. single. time he was finally awarded the accolade last night against The Golden Lights (despite achieving sod all) and is now the proud owner of the Block skill.... 2018-07-20 14:49:05 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (2) vs. Golden Lights (0) An entertaining friendly saw the Golden Lights and the Kunnin Stuntz continue their preseason preparations. The rowdy Orc fans 'rocked' up in numbers (can you guess where this is going?) and out number the fans of the Elven almost 4:1. The first half started with a rock being thrown, hitting an Elf right between the eyes, and taking him out for the remainder of the game! Elves received the ball, broke into the Orc half, and in the second turn launched the ball downfield to a waiting catcher to take the ball and stroll in for a 1-0 lead. Only this didn't happen. An intervening Black Orc chose that moment to leap like a salmon and intercept the ball as it sailed over his head! Promptly gathered it up, and lumbered forward into a rather green cage. Over the following 5 turns the Orcs slowly shuffled down the pitch, trying to clear the Elves out the way in the process. Before the game Coach Reedar had issued explicit instructions to five of his player who needed a bit more experience to 'take care of the Elves, sneak in some equipment to help you if needs be'. Sadly they took this too literally, and turned up with a selection of pillows and blankets and failed abysmally to hurt the Elves!!!!! 3 knockouts over the half, and not a single casualty to show for it. Orcs scored to go 1-0 up in T7. None of the three elves came out of the KO box. Half ended, and still the three Elves refused to wake up. Damn comfy pillows these Orcs must have brought.... Second half started with the Elven Halfling chef stealing all the Orc rerolls. Orcs received, gathered up the ball and caged up again. The Wizards fireball struck, knocking down one Black Orc, stunning another, and taking the Troll out of action for the rest of the game. Despite a gutsy Sidestepping Blitzer hassling the ball carrier in the cage, the Orcs were able to slowly but surely use the numbers advantage and work their way down the pitch. Another couple of KOs put some more Elves to sleep, but still no causalities inflicted by Orc players! Finally, towards the end of the half, Peter, the Orc thrower of all people, got fed up with the Black Orc and Blitzers incompetence and killed a poor Elf outright with a single punch just to show them how its done. Ryan ran the ball in to seal a 2-0 win. An unusual game with the Elves managing just a single pass in the entire game, and the Orcs only managing one casualty. Good fun though, and thanks to CPskye for hosting :) 2018-07-19 17:00:39 Match: Second Star to the Right (2) vs. Golden Lights (3) A hard fought first game for both teams with both coaches trying to get to grips withe the playing styles of their teams. The first half saw the Elves receive and in typical elvish fashion score in two turns. The humans then replied and tried to drag out the rest of the half with the ball in their possession. With time ticking away in the first half the humans scored with two turns remaining. The elves, as usual, ran three potential scorers into the opposition half. The humans had very little resistance to the final drive to some fierce tackling and led at half time. Second half the humans received the ball and set up a cage, however a plucky elf managed to sidestep his way against the ball carrier causing a turn over. With the scent of the ball in their nostrils the elves made an audacious play and ended up scoring making it 3-1. The humans wanted to salvage something from the game and after collecting the ball, they caged up the field smashing a few elves into the casualty box on the way. The humans knew they were never going to win the game so they held out so the elves did not have the chance for a final shot at goal. Ending the game with the elves winning 3-2. 2018-07-17 18:05:39 Match: Bar Room Brawlers (1) vs. Da ironhide cowboyz (0) a tough friendly where two teams punched each other hard and a lot of orcs got knocked out. 2018-07-13 04:10:02 Match: The Blood Paladins (2) vs. Arachnophobia (2) The first friendly of the pre season for the Blood Paladins saw them host a relatively new Slann team. The game started well for the Paladins, with them receiving the kick off. Even though Helmut decided to knock himself out straight from the kick off, this didn't stop the Paladins from causing an injury of their own and then going on to score. The Slann, enraged by this, then scuttled in to a 2-1 lead with time running out for the Paladins. The final play of the game came round, and the weather had turned from a nice sunny day to a roaring blizzard, making long passing impossible and going for it full pelt risky. This didn't deter then Vampires though. Isabella picked up the ball and ran towards the line of scrimmage, roaring her defiance. To make the pass easier, Pierre managed to get one of the spiders to look at him with all eight eyes and hypnotised him, denying the interception attempt. The pass was accurate despite the weather and gathered in by Lloris who then ran like a bat out of hell into the end zone to tie the game. It was a hard fought friendly, with 3 of the Paladins being injured - 1 was patched up by the team Doctor. Helmut also got sent off before he even set foot back on the pitch after regaining consciousness. Valuable lessons were learnt from this game and will be taken forward in to the season by both teams. 2018-07-09 18:13:30 Match: Bovine Intervention (0) vs. Spice Girls (0) Admin draw. 2018-07-04 12:16:25 Match: Bovine Intervention (0) vs. Oakenshields FC (0) Admin draw. 2018-07-04 12:16:03 Match: Pfeildörf Pirates (3) vs. Khaine's Vengeance (0) The Pirates raided every cemetery, funeral parlour and elderly nursing home to fill the seats for this one, and it showed with them winning +2 FAME. This came into effect before the game had even started with Vengeance Witch Elf Furiosa being killed by a thrown rock. The team apothecary managed to piece her back together, setting the tone for the match. Pirates coach Jip elected to receive when he won the toss, just to try and reduce the numbers with a slow drive. The Undead had brought a bribe along with them which disappeared into the referee's pocket fairly early into the half. Despite some late shenanigans brought about by Durgaul (the AG5 Dark Elf Runner) dodging through various tackle zones to take down the ball carrier, the Pirates went into the half-time break 1-0 up. Just before half-time, a Blizzard descended but that wouldn't hamper the Vengeance drive, would it? The second half started with the Pirate up a couple of players, but there were still enough Elves on the pitch to run rings around the dead of Pfeildörf. A failed pick-up in turn one by Durgaul wasn't re-rolled as the ball was far enough from the Undead to be safe, but the Undead put pressure on, leading to a fumbled pass by Durgaul (AG5 doesn't seem to count when you roll so many 1s), leading to Pravok Shade (one of the Pfeildörf Pirates' Ghouls) recovering the ball and scampering off towards the endzone. Unfortunately, the flurry of snow and ice meant the Vengeance weren't able to catch up with him, and he put the Pirates 2-0 up around turn 12. The weather cleared up but, by this point, the Pirates were dominating the numbers game, which became more obvious when Vivhe, one of the Khaine's Vengeance Blitzers, was kicked to death, then brought back to life as a shambling, mindless Zombie. A risky play to try and salvage a consolation touchdown by the Vengeance players meant they were exposed, leading to a breakaway Ghoul hand-off for the Undead's third touchdown, through Nopent Malicius, in turn 16. 3-0 to the Pfeildörf Pirates and an incredibly awkward bus ride home to Naggaroth for Durgaul, having rolled so many 1s at crucial points in the game. 2018-06-28 03:32:25 Match: dead listers (1) vs. Spice Girls (2) a good competitive match. the elf's received and ran it in for a very quick score. the listers were able to run a return TD just before the half after retrieving the ball. paul daniels had dropped it into the crowd as he fell over the line just the turn before. 2nd half looked to be a grind feast for the dead to run down the clock but the elfs had other ideas. with some exceptional footwork two of the spice girls had slipped into the listers cage and sent rodney crashing to the ground. the elfs were now away and the ball was all of a sudden deep in the undeads half. the listers were able to bring the elf linewomen down to prevent her scoring but now had the task of moving the ball up field and quickly. the winning score came down to a hand off on the very last turn but Bruce Forsyth wasn't able to make a 3+ with a reroll. the match moved into extra time and the elfs were receiving again. a couple of easy dodges and a simple pass saw them away and running it in for the sudden death winning score. 2018-06-15 05:58:34 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (0) vs. Shorties Bulls (1) He beat me up, the fiend! 2018-06-09 17:06:25 Match: Spice Girls (2) vs. Grimbad Grinders (1) To follow... 2018-05-31 07:05:30 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles The grudge match with Plagues R Us has been played, the dust has settled, the apothecary has checked the players and the whole teams' uniforms have been washed....twice! It was a hard fought victory, with some good plays from both sides. The travelling Lineelf picked up a knock and it looks like his professional career is over. Helarin, on the other hand, has learnt the benefit of quick feet and how useful they are to dodge out of the way and catch the ball. Although the 3 - 1 scoreline seems easy, the game was by no means that and 4 players finished the game nursing game ending injuries, and another was patched up by the apothecary so they could play on. Valuable lessons have been learnt from this game, and the Eagles will look to take them into the rest of the pre season games and indeed the next full season. 2018-05-25 06:35:57 Team news by Plagues R us After the game with the Pointyeared Elfians a new nurgle warrior has been recruited to plagues R US. Hopefully Plaguefilled Pete will be a worthy addition to the roster. In lighter news Nurgle has seen fit to bless the team's star player Sepsis with increased strength. He is seeking an improved casualty tally in his next season.... 9 is not enough. 2018-05-24 19:19:38 Match: Plagues R us (1) vs. Pointyearelfian Eagles (3) An interesting game. Elves were being elfish. Mouldy Mike decided to emulate the elves passing accurately passing a long bomb on a 6 and a catch on a 6. The manager of Plagues R us checked after the game to make sure the rotter wasn't an elf in disguise but to his surprise definitely was a human in a previous life. Must be some strange new new strain of virus The Plagues R US manager has talked to his team about how little damage his team caused... the score has not been settled to his mind. On the Bright side Sepsis was blessed by the grandfather with increased strength to spread fear through the game 2018-05-24 17:19:17 Match: Dwellers Below (1) vs. dead listers (2) A crazy and hard fought match for both sides. The listers received and worked the ball up the pitch for the first score. The dwellers couldn’t get around the undead defence to equalise at the half. In the second half the dwellers played out of there skin. Kevin started crushing the undead and Mitch proved why he is so valuable, he was everywhere and totally untouchable. The underworlders ran it in and quickly overturned the listers in there return drive. The dwellers scored at the end of the match with a goblins throw no less ( but the refs spotted this wasn’t correct and overturned the score. ) The game ran into overtime and the listers blitzed into the dwellers half to steal the ball back from the kick off. A power struggle set off with the ball changing hands between the teams. But the extra long game had began to whittle down the numbers on both sides, the two ghouls left on the pitch manage to work together to get away from the underworlders and Rodney scored to end the extra time. 2018-05-24 16:07:24 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles Breaking news from the Eagles locker room! It appears that the post season interviews that were done with the team didn't go down too well with the Plagues R Us Manager and a vehement challenge was issued straight away by them. Never ones to back down from a challenge, the Eagles duly accepted this challenge and the grudge match was scheduled. The Elves are fired up for this game, and they are determined not to have their honour, or their uniforms, stained by this challenge. Alain McRoberts reporting for Talabheim TV from a fired up Eagles locker room. 2018-05-23 08:46:47 Team news by Plagues R us The manager of Plagues R us was very disappointed seeing the interview Jim and Bob had with the Pointyeared Elfian manager where he talked about the importance of personal hygiene and killing germs. The Plagues R us manager was so offended by this hate speech about genocide of great god Nurgle's children that he had no choice but to challenge the elves to a grudge match. 2018-05-23 04:31:17 Match: Saw-rus savages (2) vs. Rainey Street Reavers (0) A great friendly. The lizardmen started strong removing humans with ko’s and running it in. The humans were brilliant at passing the ball but unable to get a foothold in the match due to- failed dodges, bone heads at the worst times and not being able to break amour. The lizardmen were able to run it in again in the second half. 2018-05-22 18:34:07 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (1) vs. Hi Ho Orky Lining (0) Awesome pow-related defence by the orcs kept the score to 0-0 at half time, but the Brets had not been damaged enough, so a deep kick from Futabayama put the orcs on the back foot in the second half, burning through the rerolls and getting stuck in the wrestle-fend swamp. Really tight game, and the orcs will be a force to be reckoned with if they continue into season 2! 2018-05-21 13:25:03 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles So, the scene in the locker room of the Pointyearelfian Eagles is one of mixed emotions. There is disappointment and a sense of loss after their mauling at the hands of the Chaos Dwarves in their play off game, but there is also a renewed determination for next season. Although they were horribly beaten in the play offs, they have learnt from this and they will go into their second season a lot wiser. There have been a few comings and goings on the roster, and it appears that nobody wants to take up number 14 as the previous 2 wearers of this number are now dead. The current owner of the number is thanking their lucky stars for surviving the season and will be looking to change the number as soon as possible. There might be a few coaching changes in the pre season, and the owners definitely have an idea where they want the team to go. The Eagles are eagerly looking for some games to practice for next season, they know where their weaknesses are and they will be looking to eradicate these from their game. This is Alain McRoberts reporting for Talabheim TV for the last time for this season. 2018-05-21 06:30:47 Match: Rainey Street Reavers (1) vs. Ulthan's Glory (5) A fun but strange game where elves were punching harder than the ogre 2018-05-18 19:09:11 Match: Bashing Battleaxes (0) vs. Saw-rus savages (4) Fun friendly game. The snots left the pitch early and the ogres where knocking down opponents left right and centre, however the amour of the saurus held and the skinks were able to run free. 2018-05-17 17:38:35 Match: Shorties Bulls (3) vs. Pointyearelfian Eagles (0) First drive was pretty bloodless then on the second drive a dwarf got pushed off the pitch and the rest of the team hit back. by the end of the game 1 solitary elf remained face down on the pitch. 2018-05-17 17:12:20 Match: Villager Pillagers (1) vs. Oakenshields FC (1) After ending the first half with a 0-0 draw and several players down the Norse were looking at a bad position. Somehow in the midst of the scrum they were able to steal the ball and run it off for a touchdown. Kicking the ball the Norse made a bad decision in hindsight of where they placed the ball with the ball landing on a dwarf on the line of scrimmage allowing them enough time to move it forward and score on the last turn for a one all draw. A good match 2018-05-15 17:19:47 Match: Wasabi Wanderers (2) vs. Mutated Maurauders (0) The story of the minotaur! He blitzed ineffectually and then stood around while shenanigans happened on the other side of the pitch. The ball changed hands about 25 times in the first half, but the second half was more standard. Good fun came, available on YouTube! 2018-05-14 12:29:10 Match: Kunnin Stuntz (1) vs. Hi Ho Orky Lining (0) Some Elf-like Orcy bulls**t dodging passing play at a crucial point in the second half was enough to break the deadlock and allow the Kunnin Stuntz to snatch the win.... 2018-05-12 13:55:55 Match: Hi Ho Orky Lining (1) vs. Sucker Punch (0) Admin win. 2018-05-12 13:07:50 Match: Sucker Punch (0) vs. Kunnin Stuntz (1) Admin win. 2018-05-12 13:07:25 Match: Sucker Punch (0) vs. Bovine Intervention (1) Admin win. 2018-05-12 13:07:01 Match: Plagues R us (2) vs. Tootvale Tuskmusters (0) A tale of woeful orc dice and 2 breakaways from passing nurgle! 2018-05-11 15:58:46 Team news by Pointyearelfian Eagles I'm here again in the locker room of the Pointyearelfian Eagles. Since my last trip here, the Eagles have put in some impressive performances on the pitch and have secured a place in the post season. This relatively new team are really looking forward to their first post season, but are also wary about who their opponents could be. They have looked at the teams they could face and are going to have a big challenge to get through whoever they are pitted against. No major injury worries ahead of the post season, just a lot of hard work on the training pitch. I will certainly be watching this teams' progress on their journey through the post season. This is Alain McRoberts reporting for Talabheim TV. 2018-05-11 06:22:22 Match: Wyrdstone Misfits (0) vs. Shorties Bulls (2) In a game where the underworld made every difficult dodge (but failed the easy ones) and the CD's couldn't pick up a ball 2nd half it was their armor that got the Chaos Dwarfs through this crucial game 2018-05-10 17:51:50 Match: Dwellers Below (2) vs. Spice Girls (3) An exciting match with positive play from both teams. The Spice were 2-1 ahead at half-time and receiving the kick. A further score from each team saw the elves leading 3-2 with two turns to close the game out. Cayenne came close to scoring her fourth touch down but failure to catch the pass left the ball lose. The Dwellers scurried frantically in an attempt to level the score but the ambitiously long pass was just off the mark. Spice Girls 3 - 2 Dwellers Below 2018-05-03 17:26:16 Team news by Drergan Mort Maulers Some sombre faces on the Maulers' team longship this afternoon as they begrudgingly make their way to the final game of season 12. There are several new faces in the squad for match day nine, with a few existing players already sold to rival clubs (or local slavers), and many others just refusing to leave the safety of the Drergan Mort dock! It's been a tough season for the Maulers, who are unlikely to return to the SAWBBL in future seasons. It's not all doom and gloom though, as there are reports of one final adventure after their game against the Grimbad Grinders, this evening - yes folks, the Drergan Mort Maulers are off to the NAF Championships! 2018-04-30 04:13:44 Match: Bovine Intervention (0) vs. Pointyearelfian Eagles (4) The Eagles braced themselves for the last regular game of this season. As they ran out on to the pitch in from of the 24,000 fans who had packed into the stadium, the sun came out from behind the clouds and bathed the pitch in glorious sunshine... a far cry from the last game that went from sweltering heat at the start and saw them finish playing in a blizzard! The Eagles won the toss and chose to receive the kick which was duly caught and passed up the pitch, leading to a second turn touchdown. The Chaos team then had the ball and caged up well, but some sidestepping dodging shenanigans led to the ball carrier being sacked and then a pass being rifled to one of the catchers who had the right idea to leg it up field and score again before half time. This was the story of the second half aswell, well made cages by the Chaos team but dodging/blocking shenanigans proved to be the Elves tactic as they twice dodged in and sacked the ball carrier, leading to 2 more touchdowns in the second half. 2018-04-28 13:15:13 Match: dead listers (1) vs. Ice Cold & Commando (0) The commandos face off against the living dead, knowing that this game was vital to their play off prospects. However the listers had come for a fight. The ghouls pushed right as the rest of the team started picking off Norsemen. Listers rookie Bruce forsyth so keen to impress his new team mates killed airk on his first action in the match. The commandos still defended well giving tupac no options of delaying the score. The commandos return drive in the half saw them collecting the ball and trying to flood the left hand side. The listers were wise to this and started to squeeze them off the pitch. This left too much for the Norse to do on the last turn and the clock ran out. The Norse coach now had a serous dilemma. With only being able too field 6 players against a undead team that had grown and needing something outstanding to at least tie the game. He had to preserve his squad just incase what they had done this season was enough to carry them into the playoffs. He turned to the refs and reluctantly informed them that his team were off. This match was televised and is available on the sawbblcable network 2018-04-27 18:51:21 Match: Oakenshields FC (0) vs. Kunnin Stuntz (2) Orcs vs Dwarves... the age old enemies... The Stuntz recieved in the first half, caught the high kick and caged up. And then ran into a wall of Dwarves. Multiple turns of blocking and counter blocking saw little progress made, with neither team really able to break armour. Whenever an injury roll came up, it was invariably a 'stunned' result. In fact, over the course of the entire game, the Oakenshields were unable to manage to much as a single KO. Multiple Dirty Trick special play cards were played, resulting in a twelfth Blocker sneaking onto the pitch & several of the Stuntz team failing Bonehead rolls. The Dwarves managed to dodge through the Orc line now that the tackle zones had been negated, and sacked the ball carrier. Stuntz were able to retrieve however, and slowly edged their way down the pitch to score in T8. Second half saw the Dwarves receive and have a staggeringly bad start to the half. 7 players lined on up the LoS to batter the Orcs, only for a couple of Push results and multiple Skulls to cause an early turnover with half the dwarf team in position to get hit. The Orcs duly obliged, and managed to knock down 8 of the Dwarves and put pressure on the ball in the backfield. The Dwarves were unable to fully extract themselves, the Orcs picked up the ball and scored again to secure a 2-0 win. Paul should feel aggrieved by his dice in fairness, they consistently came up just short of what was needed. Silver lining being no one picked up any MNG or NI injuries. Next up for the Stuntz is an Orc-off with Hi Ho Orky lining.... 2018-04-27 17:07:36 Match: Mathraticians (0) vs. Infidelphia Eagles (2) The Mathraticians' brutal introduction to the SAWBBL league continued in this (un)friendly match. The rookie Skaven team ended the game with a handful of players left on the pitch, with two lasting injuries in the dugout (MNG Rat Ogre and Niggle Gutter Runner). The first half saw some brave defensive attempts from the rats, attempting to wrestle the ball from Sku'rruc Bloodflayer, but bad dice at critical moments meant he could walk it in around turn five. Blodging Gutter Runner, Issac Newraton, made a brave solo break for it in turn six of the first-half, but was crunched by Curzuc Chaosgrip, leaving him with a Damaged Back as reward for his bravery. Earlier in the half, the Rat Ogre managed to get two dice on the Eagles' Beast of Nurgle, but had to take a Both Down, which left Vre'zgan Blazegazer unscathed (other than the Nurgle's Rot he brought with him to the game!) and Algebrat with a Smashed Hand. As the half ended, the Eagles were on for a second, but Ratation, the Skaven Thrower, managed to sack the only player in scoring range, meaning a turn eight score just wasn't to be. The Mathratician's started their drive three rats down, but managed to hold on to the ball for most of the second half. Unfortunately, the numbers showed and, despite some more brave attempts at a recovery play, including Ratation almost making a breakaway from the pack for an equaliser, the Eagles' managed to secure a second touchdown in turn 16. With a dead Stormvermin and three Niggled Gutter Runners on the team roster already, could we see a re-set for the Mathraticians, similar to the controversial 2415 Nuln City Amateurs squad...? 2018-04-25 03:06:03 Match: Spice Girls (1) vs. Hi Ho Orky Lining (1) Jim, why's that orc blitzer wiping custard off his face?...Hang on, they just scored! The Spice Girls brought some dirty tricks with them! Elves... whatever next?? 2018-04-24 16:55:17 Match: Bashing Battleaxes (0) vs. Poison Reavers (3) Match report to come 2018-04-24 09:08:39 Match: Grimbad Grinders (1) vs. Wyrdstone Misfits (2) The faces of the Grimbad Grinders turned a paler shade of green as the Misfits appeared on the field with 4 sets of sharpened Claws, including Star Player, Glart Smashrip (Senior). The Orc armour did not hold up as well as the rats', with several serious injuries keeping the Grinders down on players. The Misfits received in the first half, holding out until making a break down the right field, protected by a wall of goblins and Glart's large immovable butt, scoring at the end of the half. Gobsnik was loaded up with the ball, ready to be launched to glory, but slipped out of Old Stinky's hands, landing face first and taking himself out. The Orcs started the second half with a two turn touchdown, ready to grind out the rest of the half for a draw. They held the Misfits in place, defending strongly, and starting to put the pressure on. This forced a passing play for the Misfits, caught by a sneaky goblin who disappeared downfield with the ball to score the second touchdown. A tense and tactical game! 2018-04-23 23:58:39 Match: Pointyearelfian Eagles (1) vs. Villager Pillagers (2) The day started off with a sweltering heatwave as both teams lined up to start, the first half was lots of grinding by the Norse team to push up the right hand side of the pitch clearing the way for the runner along with a few linemen and a blitzer to get up to the line and stalled for a few turns to score turn 8 leaving the Elves with no reply in the first half. Sweltering heat took it's toll on only 1 player each side. Some cloud cover and a breeze turned up as the weather settled back to a nice day. The Elves setup to drive down the field for the second half when the Norse caught them flat footed with a blitz, opened a gap on the left and a runner was able to get under the ball and catch it. Unperturbed by this the Elves piled round and knocked the runner down with the ball leaving the pitch and the fans throwing it back onto the field towards the elves who were able to pick it up and with some throwing, dodging and going for its were able to score in turn 2 of the second half. The weather again changed this time a blizzard rolled in as the Norse setup to drive down the field again the same runner was able to get down the field to score. The Elves setup to drive down the field and were dodging and throwing with abandon but they got tied up in a little bit of a scrum about 3 squares from the score line and bad luck in die rolls left 3 catchers and a lineman lying on the floor around the ball and unable to push the ball over the line leaving it a 2-1 to the Norse team. 2018-04-23 17:28:53 Match: Mathraticians (1) vs. Grey Shades (5) A strange game. We shall call it a tale of 2 sets of dice rolls. The dice came off on every block or action the dwarves made whereas the dice didn't like the rats very much today 2018-04-23 17:14:41 Match: Hi Ho Orky Lining (2) vs. Foul Gitz (0) Soo the Ooligan got the crowd revved up for 2 pitch invasions! ahhhh...!! ....revved up so much that they came on and knocked out the fanatic! ....and the Doom diver needs a new knee! Whilst he's in the hospital... get those dodge dice looked at! ...all whilst in a blizzard, damn weather! RIP 'Pong' #8 Gobbo. 2018-04-23 13:34:09